nolan_void

Often I hurt, and I don't know what to do, and I'm afraid being alone will make the hurt worse and being with others will spread my hurt to them. There is truth in both of these. But we have a responsibility to ourselves and the world, which are one in the same, to give them good things instead of negative and hurtful things.

When I suffer, I must find a way to transmute that suffering into something good, something that can benefit me, something that can benefit the world. It does not benefit the world when someone, in earnest concern, asks how I am on a given day, and I say "I'm terrible". This can make the other person feel terrible as well (unless they are very mindful and adept at transmute bad to good themselves). But it would not do to lie to the person either, and to say that you are doing well when you are not. In such an act you are denying a very important thing about yourself that will only get worse as you ignore it.

So the solution is to pay attention to your suffering. Take care of your suffering as you would take care of the suffering of a child, because you yourself are a child. You were a baby once, and people loved you for nothing more than that. It is possible for them to love you the same way now, and it is possible for you to see that in other people and love them too. As a baby, there was no special act or accomplishment that was expected of you in order to warrant the love and affection of other people. Why should there be now? If you feel that you do not have that love and affection that is so wonderful to have lavished upon us, then start by giving it to yourself. You are a person, capable of loving, and you are also a person capable of being loved. In this way, you begin to mend your own suffering, which will keep you from giving it to the rest of the world. By taking care of yourself, you are taking care of everything and everyone that you love too.