i'm ill.
it is a really gay ill which i've not had before but 2 of my workmates have so tis blatantly their fault. what it feels like is your stomach is constantly wishing it had an eject button and your throat is all tight but aching with catarrh or however it is spelt stopping you swallow properly, it makes your eyes and ears ache like flu. most bizarre, it makes the tops of your thighs REALLY ACHE like they're been beaten with a baseball bat!
this has been aggravated by a late night out. well, late enough for me and i didnt have warm clothes, was a bit spur of the moment. meant i got to hang with my excellent friend Ian though which i haven't done for far too long. think i've been too exclusive about mark recently, it's like he's the only person i see and clare's the only person i speak to, really not that sociable. i think i've gone off people again, i was quite close to liking them but then things happen that put me off trying to interact with anyone outside the elite circle of my band and my best friends. which is 4 people! i suck. i think i'm feeling weird coz im fluey though rather than because my life is shit because as anyone can see, it is possibly the most amazing life anyone can live. i just wish people were more trustworthy and more reliable and liked me more for being their friend.because im really sure on some level that sort of thing does count for a lot.
steve had a go at me for not hugging him enough. i didn't have a go at him for hugging me too much which he does. i dont like other people touching me when im ill. but i'm still the bad one. wonder how this works? i think i will be very glad to start again. maybe i will grow up, maybe i am still really juvenile and perceptions change a lot with age? what's the difference between 10 years from now? 10 years back was a different person so i can only assume the same.
i'm ranting about nothing, this reminds me a lot of mercutio's speech in romeo and juliet in which he spouts a load of bollards about queen mab. BOLLARD.
maybe i should start doing speed.
it is a really gay ill which i've not had before but 2 of my workmates have so tis blatantly their fault. what it feels like is your stomach is constantly wishing it had an eject button and your throat is all tight but aching with catarrh or however it is spelt stopping you swallow properly, it makes your eyes and ears ache like flu. most bizarre, it makes the tops of your thighs REALLY ACHE like they're been beaten with a baseball bat!
this has been aggravated by a late night out. well, late enough for me and i didnt have warm clothes, was a bit spur of the moment. meant i got to hang with my excellent friend Ian though which i haven't done for far too long. think i've been too exclusive about mark recently, it's like he's the only person i see and clare's the only person i speak to, really not that sociable. i think i've gone off people again, i was quite close to liking them but then things happen that put me off trying to interact with anyone outside the elite circle of my band and my best friends. which is 4 people! i suck. i think i'm feeling weird coz im fluey though rather than because my life is shit because as anyone can see, it is possibly the most amazing life anyone can live. i just wish people were more trustworthy and more reliable and liked me more for being their friend.because im really sure on some level that sort of thing does count for a lot.
steve had a go at me for not hugging him enough. i didn't have a go at him for hugging me too much which he does. i dont like other people touching me when im ill. but i'm still the bad one. wonder how this works? i think i will be very glad to start again. maybe i will grow up, maybe i am still really juvenile and perceptions change a lot with age? what's the difference between 10 years from now? 10 years back was a different person so i can only assume the same.
i'm ranting about nothing, this reminds me a lot of mercutio's speech in romeo and juliet in which he spouts a load of bollards about queen mab. BOLLARD.
maybe i should start doing speed.