nofi

thank you, d_day, for bringing THIS to my attention.



Psalm 23

So teh Ceiling Cat iz mah coverr an me doan wants.
Oh hai teh Ceiling Cat made me sit on gras an hez liek nice waters r ovar thar.
So He makez mah soul go all fresh an he sez gud cookiez r ovar her cuz iz nice 4 him.
When I wuz walkin thru dis scary valley Im sayin "me feelz no evil" cuz teh Ceiling Cat iz beside me pokin mah side wif hiz stix an it mak me so kumfy.
So teh Ceiling Cat make me cookiez when Im wif all mah bad frenz and he grease me up an I sez "O mah bowl iz full."
So dat nice things an luck chase me evrydai an teh Ceiling Cat gimie his houz.


Exodus 20

Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds: I iz Suprior Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt lend wit no cheezbrgrs for hard werk at all U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes. If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes. If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur children ded An ur children-children ded, for being stupid. If not I wuv u An all ur childrenz-childrenz-childrenz! U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes, for I dun liek it. Srsly. Remembur caturday An keep holy. U werk 6 dais An finish werk, K? Dai 7, u no werk. U An all ur peepz go wrship me.11 I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it - so I make it holy cuz I no werk. Bez u good to papa An mama so u has long lief. U no mek peepz ded! U no mek sexxes wit other gurlz or menz than ur wief (so no awsum treesum alowed!). U no tek stuffs for free if not getz for free. U no tell bad stuff about ur neibor. U no wantz neibor stuff! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no animulz, NO BUKKITZ! NOT YOURS. When peepz see mai great orkestr wit thundr An all cool speshul effects thei wur scardy wimps Thei sed to Moses 'U goez speek to uz An we will listen; but Ceiling Cat will shoot us wit its lazer eyes!' Moses LOLed lotz, An a bit moar, for thei wuz such wimps, An sed 'Ceiling Cat no mek u ded; he just wantz to haef vun wit u gais An maek u scaredy cats so u obei him.' But peepz wur still wimps An let Moses go ther to Ceiling Cat. Ceiling Cat sez "Tellz them wimpies: 'U see I spoked to u from heavenz. U no mek me of silvar or goldz. U mek me altar of erth An gif me pwnz0rzed animulz ther An I gif u cheezburgr. But u no maek me altar of bjutiful stonez. DO NOT WANT! An u no use steps on altar or I can see ur penises. DO NOT WANT!"