But first how about a few shoots for #selfiesaturday ( INSTAGRAM = weelittlegingerbread )
So rant;
as most of you know i suffer from both depression and fibromyalia both of which are CLINICAL illnesses; and even are known to be linked and yet one of the closest people to me; had the cheek to tell me that depression isn't an real illness and that i'm lazy and i just need to snap out of it.
ONE both these conditions are REAL illnesses which have an massive impact on your life
TWO the words perk up or snap out of it; or stop being lazy ARE RUDE AND OFFESIVE not just to me but to anyone whom suffers with these illnesses.
THREE; i suffer on an daily basis; and yes sometimes it is physically impossible for me to get out of bed. BUT I GOT THE HIGHEST GRADES IN MY CLASSES DESPITE BEING OFF ILL FOR HALF A YEAR! surely if i was lazy this wouldn't have happened?
FOUR; i am not lazy and nor is anyone else with these conditions; we are fucking warriors; we wake up everyone day; knowing that our bodies will endure pain which we have no control over (and which healthy people would perhaps even go to hospital for) We then get out of people and struggle onwards we may not be ground breaking scientists or anything but i am proud to say i get out of bed every day and try my god damn best to live my life!
in addition to this; people don't seem to realise that fibromyalia isn't just fatigue or pain; there is over an hundred known symptoms; and nothing can be left to chance.
here is a list of symptoms i have on a DAILY basis; others flare up during my bad times'.
senstivity to light and odours, headaches, widespread pain made worse by emotion distress/ stress/ physical movement/ activities, massive temperate changes from warm to cold; dryness of mouth and eyes; symptons worsening due to temperture change, muscle pain, muscle twitching, muscle weakness (sometimes to the point i cannot move) brain fog; sleep distrubance, drepression, anxiety, irrtablity, AND MUCH MUCH MORE.
perhaps the best way i can explain it other than the spoon theory is using this quote
"for the chronically ill, details are all; to cope with chronic illness means to routinely scan bodily processes; attention is vigilantly focused, sometimes hour by hour to the specifics of circumstances and events that could be the sources of worsening, there is a daily quest for control of the known provoking agents evrvating descisons must be made about when to initate or terminate an activity;; when to move from baseline medications to second level drugs and then wehn to seek proffessional help all of this occurs in the same context of active lives that are filled with the same pressures; threats and exultations that make normal living such a blooming buzzing confusion. "
do not get me wrong i understand; people have it worse of than me but that doesn't make what i have not real!
end of rant
@ramen went pink today! so proud of her and only hope that one day i can join her;
now many have told me i don't have what it takes to be pink! but i will not give up on my dream and hope one day to turn pink anyway im tired love you guys
