Time for an update. My last entry was way too emo, and now it's my birthday and some nice people are visiting my journal. What a cool place this is.
I said "life hurts" in my journal a week ago because I woke up on a Monday disgusted with myself for nearly poisoning myself with bourbon and having an oerflowing ashtray of butts.
So I decided to quit smoking and drinking - you have to do both, it's pretty impossible to quit one while still doing the other - for 3 months, which is attainable (February, March, April).
Then the idea is, eat better, and work out too, and create some freaking positivity. A good little period of asceticism, followed by a reevaluation in the Spring of how much hedonism to backslide into - or something.
Anyway today is Day 7 and the smoking detox withdrawal thing is relentless. It's a physical feeling, just like you'd feel if your best friend was in a car crash, and you're in the waiting area of the emergency room waiting for news from the doctor. Will your friend pull through or not? Maybe you'll find out in 5 minutes, 20 minutes, or two days you don't know.
That physical feeling of apprehensiveness, localized in the chest area, demanding most of your concentration -- is what detoxing from cigarettes is like. Impossible to ignore. Even though your friend is not in the hospital and nothing's wrong at all.
I just need to grow some receptors.
And I do feel good about it after all.
I said "life hurts" in my journal a week ago because I woke up on a Monday disgusted with myself for nearly poisoning myself with bourbon and having an oerflowing ashtray of butts.
So I decided to quit smoking and drinking - you have to do both, it's pretty impossible to quit one while still doing the other - for 3 months, which is attainable (February, March, April).
Then the idea is, eat better, and work out too, and create some freaking positivity. A good little period of asceticism, followed by a reevaluation in the Spring of how much hedonism to backslide into - or something.
Anyway today is Day 7 and the smoking detox withdrawal thing is relentless. It's a physical feeling, just like you'd feel if your best friend was in a car crash, and you're in the waiting area of the emergency room waiting for news from the doctor. Will your friend pull through or not? Maybe you'll find out in 5 minutes, 20 minutes, or two days you don't know.
That physical feeling of apprehensiveness, localized in the chest area, demanding most of your concentration -- is what detoxing from cigarettes is like. Impossible to ignore. Even though your friend is not in the hospital and nothing's wrong at all.
I just need to grow some receptors.
And I do feel good about it after all.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
One year of my 4 without alcahol was spent sans tobacco. It's so good to live off food and water.
congradulations. You are a strong, powerfull man!!!!