noahjm

hey all.. its been a LONG LONG fuckin month.... cant believe its been that long since i've last updated..

once again.. life itself has returned to its oh so wonderful dismal purpose..

whoever said 'you cant turn a ho into a house wife' deserves a wonderful fuckin Capt. Obvious sticker stuck to their fuckin forehead.. alas, i 'NoHa' as my friends call me, decided to open himself up to a chick once again in his life.. the FIRST chick mind you since him leaving his ex-wife over 2 years ago..

this relationship is going fuckin great! (or atleast in his eyes it is) when all of a sudden, one day, she bitch slaps him while he's sleeping and tells him to get out.. she doesnt want him there anymore..

i have no fuckin clue as to what happened..

i just know that love really fuckin sucks.. 2nd chick my entire life (outside of my family of course) that i have EVER said those 3 little evil fuckin words to.. 'i love you'

anywho.. ill get back to more bitching in a little bit..

i still work, im still out on probation.. havent fucked that up.. (yet) my best friend and i are no longer friends really.. ever since i went to jail we became 2 different people.. its a really shitty unfortunate thing..

i still skate.. i run around on my zero deck still.. decided to try ecstasy for the first time over the weekend.. i think i liked it a little too much.. ended up poppin 7 pills in about 24 hours.. that or i was just tryin to mask the pain of HER (the woman i once and shall always love)

im not good with coping with things.. never have been.. but then again.. ive never really done anything too too destructive because of anything in my life.. worst thing i could think of would be a relapse or something.. eh.. worse things have happened...

and no.. im not trying to mentally set myself up for a relapse.. ive already thought that through and through.. i just mean that nothing else worse could really happen in my life except for that.. once i relapse, i violate or do something stupid to get myself into trouble again and THEN violate.. go to prison.. become bubba's butt buddy.. and bam.. eventually die.. so no, no relapse planned in my mind..

in less than a month, i lose my best friend, the woman that i love.. im really fuckin glad i dont have any pets or anything.. just makes me wonder whats next.. my sanity hopefully..