no

So let me tell you about the ex-bf. Together 6 or 7 years, I don't quite remember now and I don't feel like doing the math. Several of them long distance, several of them living together. The damn fool still lives 20 miles from my parents' house and even works with my sister some weekends. I don't really know him anymore, but sometimes we'll hang out when I'm up to visit. I'm not sure when the last 'good' visit was, it seems there's always arguing and some amount of crying involved, last night no exception. Went out for a couple drinks, continued the argument we had at christmas, parted amiably. Why is it that his memories are so not what happened? Or is it me? Why does he only remember/mention the bad? I guess he's the same person he used to be, but I can't imagine ever wanting to be with him, or wanting to hang out, or even to have a conversation. Maybe I love him. Probably. But that's it. It was one of those things where we both changed backwards and inside out of the way we were when we got together, but the love stayed, and so we stayed. Finally I moved and he didn't, and we knew. Ultimately it was religion (where the fuck do you go when you can never get married or live together, and you've been together that long??), though at that point we really were not compatable at all. And so now I am over it, and alone, and I don't pine over that majority of my adult life that I was half of something, inside of someone, in love and never alone.