Budget Crisis WTF. I had the following conversation today with an FBI forensics lab. Shortened for simplicity.
FBI: "We need a femur"
Me: "I only have one on hand, but it doesn't match what you are looking for. I can keep my eye out and let you know when one comes in that will work for you"
FBI:"That's fine. We can't get it right now anyhow, there's no money in our budget"
Me: "OK, I'll start looking. When I find something is it easier to contact you by phone or email?"
FBI; "Oh, we don't have email here"
Wait, the FBI forensics lab doesn't have email, or a spare $200? I am SO starting a life of crime.
FBI: "We need a femur"
Me: "I only have one on hand, but it doesn't match what you are looking for. I can keep my eye out and let you know when one comes in that will work for you"
FBI:"That's fine. We can't get it right now anyhow, there's no money in our budget"
Me: "OK, I'll start looking. When I find something is it easier to contact you by phone or email?"
FBI; "Oh, we don't have email here"
Wait, the FBI forensics lab doesn't have email, or a spare $200? I am SO starting a life of crime.
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and PS, make sure to turn to a life of crime that the FBI actually would cover. Dont try growing cannabis, that'd be the DEA after you.... and dont try securities fraud on wall street, that'd be the SEC and although they're run by washouts who couldnt make it in brokerage houses the new tip line puts a big bounty on your head for other insiders to turn you in. Just kill people across state lines and you should be fine. Although as a capitalist I have to say, if you're good at something never do it for free