Company Policy
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, then another monkey tries to climb the stairs; the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then a fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.
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TO: All Employees
FROM: Special High Intensity Training Office
In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work
possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are giving
our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other office in town.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your supervisor. You will be placed on the top of the S.H.I.T.
list for special attention.
All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all
the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed.
If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be
interested in helping us to train others. We can add you to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List, Special High Intensity Training (B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T.) program.
Thank you.
Boss in General
Special High Intensity Training
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
P.S. With the personality some of you display around here, you could
easily become the Director of Intensity Program (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.). All dumb
shits who are willing to join this program please sign
here.
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, then another monkey tries to climb the stairs; the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then a fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TO: All Employees
FROM: Special High Intensity Training Office
In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work
possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are giving
our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other office in town.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your supervisor. You will be placed on the top of the S.H.I.T.
list for special attention.
All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all
the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed.
If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be
interested in helping us to train others. We can add you to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List, Special High Intensity Training (B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T.) program.
Thank you.
Boss in General
Special High Intensity Training
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
P.S. With the personality some of you display around here, you could
easily become the Director of Intensity Program (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.). All dumb
shits who are willing to join this program please sign
here.