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nirbhao

Member Since 2006

Followers 56 Following 70

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Thursday Feb 22, 2007

Feb 22, 2007
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my computer took a major crap.

fortunately, I have apple care, which means that any repairs will be covered. however, it was extremely disconcerting that, when I took it in to maclandworld, the guy at the genius bar asked what data was most important, if they weren't able to recover it all.

on a completely unrelated note, my good friend slash former boyfriend slash love of my life is (in my opinion) terrified of my parents. I don't blame him. the last time he came over to my house, he was just picking me up and my dad got angry at the fact that he was even approaching the house. there's a lot of context to this situation, but it doesn't really matter because that would freak me the fuck out, too. I believe there is also a degree of nervousness, as, of course, a woman's parents are people who usually demand approval and whatnot. don't spend too much time on this. this isn't my point.

my mom and I were talking about said boy slash man tonight, and she mentioned that I may have badmouthed them (my parents) excessively, as, in her opinion, I have done in the past. I've had a good number of (valid) complaints and concerns about my parents which I have expressed to friends, romantic interests, mental health workers, etc. EVERYONE DOES. parents are human beings who, although they love us dearly, are not perfect. I have the unfortunate added hurdle of being a disabled adult who lived independtly for several years before returning to the care of my parents after a catastrophic stroke, and it will probably be a little bit longer before I'm able to live entirely independently again. let me make this exceedingly clear: as a disabled adult, I live with and am, to a small degree, dependent upon, my parents; this is stressful for everyone.

and so the "badmouthing," as it were, is not so much me telling lies or trying to get people to hate these people, but instead it's venting about stressors in my life that are very real and valid. the reason it sounds like badmouthing is because I don't spend as much time and energy explaining how my parents do kind and thoughtful things for me, or how they are generous and good to me-- or anyone for that matter. how they make my life better and make me feel loved. because they do.

I really am way too negative.

when I was in highschool, I was in debate. there were two components to the team: affirmative and negative. affirmatives built, researched, and argued plans. negatives tore them apart. I have an eye for detail and am extremely critical, and I can find the tiniest flaw in logic, research, and credential. so I was a negative. I'm also good at editing, translation, finance, and law because of these skills. however, I'm also extremely creative and when presented with a problem, I can and will find a solution. BUT I NEVER NEED TO PRACTICE THIS.

so I just destroy destroy destroy and never create.

silence would be better.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
syh:
tongue mad tongue

(That middle one is me grating my teeth. I'd throw in the twitching eyeball but the site lacks that smiley.)
Feb 23, 2007
mistressmissy:
Well one would think that without me, you'd probably eat less sweet potato pancakes wink
Feb 23, 2007

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