nirbhao

commercials are terrible. movies are terrible. makeup is terrible. and so is american idol and everything else that is culturally numbing us so that there no longer is magic in the ordinary.

in the drops of water on leaves

in our our skin and hair and lips and eyes

in situations that have power

in words that are meaningful and only need to be said once (have you ever read the actual definition of awesome, incredible, fantastic, or wonderful?)

and I am struggling right now because I am having trouble finding my own magic in this world. it's all repetition and buffing and enamel and photoshop and lens flare. if you repeat something seven times it becomes habit, right? learn a jingle, force a customer. nothing has meaning anymore.

I am so devastated-- absolutely and totally-- with my universe right now.

I'm dying I'm dying I'm ......