nirbhao

it took a little bit of surreality to get me smiling again.

I've had this emptiness gnawing at me recently, like I've been days without food, no matter how well I eat. considering that I lost my appettite years ago, the twinge in my stomache is entirely foreign to me. I'm overstimulated imagining the taste and texture of foods. it's almost masturbatory.

I'm hungry.

on the emotional plane, I am a hard and bitter warrior. I have nerves of steel. I am bitter, cynical, tough, and tight. for so long, I've been camping in minefields with no allies and an unseen enemy. I don't know how to handle myself in a peaceful place of plenty, but I do want to learn.

I want to be satisfied.