nirbhao

• 1. the SGDetroit CD Exchange party was fun. I got my warm fuzzies when someone thought I was pink, and I met a lot of neat people. plus I got lots of music, which I'm eager to rip and listen to. unfortunately, my vegan pumpkin cheesecake sucked ass. it started to smell really bad on the drive home, so I'm starting to think that the lack of refrigeration played at least a small part. (shrugs)


• 2 I am not good at being the one to end a relationship. I like people, in general, and I like the comfort that being in a relationship brings. but when a person makes unhealthy choices and neglects to make healthy choices in addition to being careless with my feelings, well, I guess in this situation it's three strikes and you're out. it just sucks because I love him.


• 3. my mom's colonoscopy went really well. her doctor was able to figure out exactly what is going on with her and he'll be able to treat her easily. ironically enough, he diagnosed my abdominal pain by proxy. he said that what she has going on is genetic and shows up predominately in women, and told me that if I'm not already experiencing symptoms that I will soon. after she scared the shit out of my from her blood pressure dropping too low, my mom was absolutely adorable, asking the same questions over and over again. then when she was getting dressed, she thought her clothing was really soft and she told me so. so cute!


• 4. I start rehab next week! yippe! yea! yee haw! woo hoo! horah! I have speech on Tuesday and OT on Thursday. I have another appointment on Monday, but that's not real rehab. I am so relieved and happy and excited. I know it's not a panacea, but I've been waiting for so long and I've just been trapped in my brain. I'm so eloquent inside my brain, so capable and willing and brilliant. it's my tongue and eyes and flesh that doesn't cooperate. I am so eager to feel competent again. I'm so eager to be able to read again. I want to feel like me again.


• 5. some things at work are looking better. I got some people to come through that I really wasn't planning on. I got a complete and total skip on a wage assignment. it's going to be a while before she's current, but we're going to be getting money in on the account, which is huge. I'm still concerned about my actual dollars collected, though. I'm not just getting in enough money. I'm still ranked fourth in the office overall (there are eight of us), but I don't have enough money in to earn a bonus. and I kind of need the bonus to pay my bills. because I am not very smart with my money and so I am poor.


• 6. holy fuck I needed (NEEDED) some aspirin tonight, and Msterbeau (which I have been incorrectly pronouncing "master bow" in my head) gave me some bayer that had caffiene in it. I took 1000 mg of aspirin and 75 mg of caffiene, and even though I haven't had caffiene on purpose since 1996, I thought, "what the fuck, it can't kill me, right?" well, no, but it can make things fucking exciting. there's a reason I don't use that shit! I MUST carry my own aspirin. MUST.


• 7. (added much later) I also decided that Palmer, my dog, needs an account. right now I am beyond broke, but one day when I have frivolous money to spend on silly things, I will get my dog an account. it is decided.

I think that about covers it. oh-- oh---