nirbhao

it's a small world after all....

I guess it's karma, really, and a result of my complete inability and refusal to leave this small town. but there's nothing quite like discussing an ex with the current beau's family.

fortunately, I've reached some degree of peace on the matter, and when they said, "oh, yes, he's a nice guy," it didn't hit the woundedness of being abandonned both as a partner and friend when I needed him most. hm. I guess it's a small degree of peace. (sigh)

I fell in and out of sleep this morning, enjoying the thunder outside. I was able to meditate, which I haven't been able to do in a long time. it was cleansing.

I've been laughing.

I've enjoyed the beautiful juxtaposition of being vulnerable in a safe space (and in my world, spaces can be places, objects, beings, thoughts...) and not having that trust broken.

and at the same time, in a different arena of agony (in the true greek sense of the word), I've held complete vulnerability in my hands, in my heart-- in my power-- and had to exercise an entirely different mental muscle to become trustworthy.