nirbhao

a friend-- someone I truly like and care about-- said to me tonight that I'm much better in person than on-line.

and cute boy, the boy I scared away, said that I was probably very self-reflective (whereas he was self-ruminating).

(according to him)

I am so interesting at parties, it's true. I get to drag all my good shit out.

• finding a cannon pin in an archeological dig


• practically living on Mackinac Island for six years


• dropping out of high school to go to college


• earning a degree in ancient languages


• going to law school


• crazy encounters at crazy jobs (e.g.: accidentally calling into a murder investigation)


• random moments of excitement over the years (e.g.: getting a $20 "speeding ticket" in Wyoming)


• obscure, interesting books I've read (e.g.: The Fifty Year Sword)


• obscure pop culture references I've picked up (e.g.: Pitch Black)

and then they ask what I'm doing with my life. ugh.

wallowing in self pity?

in other news, the fianc got sick and excused himself to sleep in the other room part way through the party. someone there commented that she hadn't been to a single party with him where he hadn't gotten sick and left early.

I was somewhat relieved that he had excused himself, because at one point he had talked about smoking a cigar, and the last time I had seen the man smoke a cigar, he had only cut one end, and then he put it out by smothering it like a cigarette when there were about two inches left to it. I could have cried. it was a Romeo and Julieta, so nothing too special, but no one should treat a cigar that way.

I am making progress, though. I made real progress toward autonomy today. most real action will happen on Monday, and it's going to be scary but very good.