nirauan

yesterday was an unhappy day for reasons i wont speak about. today i have been happier although extremely hungover. Was at a housewarming last night, did not know the people there, was too depressed to be sociable, the answer half a litre of vodka, 2 cans of sprite lite and a litre of cranberry juice. This resulted in a full highly traumatic guilt trip regarding my lying cheating behaviour towards my ex boyfriend, who i did ring whilst in floods of tears. im selfish i just want to know that he forgives me and that i havent ruined his life (which he did say at the time of breakup). i also smoked a lot last night and put a cigarette out on my arm. i suck.