Over the past couple of days I have come to realize that you really can't seek happiness. Happiness is something that you have or you don't. I have come to realize that it is okay to be sad. That you are still the same person no matter what. You haven't changed and everyone will still love you no matter how you feel inside.
It took a lot for me to write what I wrote in my last journal. I really was very hesitant to write what I did. But I am so glad that I did. It meant the world to me to get all the comments that I got. It was so helpful to know that even though I felt completly alone I really wasn't. I never was, I just thought I was. I am glad that I opened myself up in a way that I never thought I would be able to.
Seeing the thread that MarginWalker2002 had started for me brought me to tears. But tears of utter happiness. Tears that I needed to feel, that I needed to get out. This might not make any sense, but I just want you all to know that I will be okay. I have so many awesome friends here and I love you all deeply and I appreciate all the nice things that you had to say to me. All the emails I recieved, all the comments here and in that thread really brightened up my heart.
Yesterday, I layed around in my PJs for pretty much the whole day. KidGumby had to work all day and I had nothing to do. It felt good to be alone and to have my own time to myself. I watched Annie, a movie I haven't seen since I was a kid and it was good. It made me feel good.
Today, I spent the afternoon with my mom. We talked about a lot of stuff and it felt really great. We washed her car and I sprayed her with the hose which in turn made her throw a pail of soapy water at me. But it was good. It was happy. We were both smiling and laughing. It was nice.
Now, I am sitting here with the gentle glow of the computer screen filling up the apartment and the slow breeze of a fan rustling papers and my shirt as I sit here and type this. I feel okay, I feel like things are going to be better. I just need to take this one step at a time.
I love you all from the depths of my heart, I really do.
Thank you to everyone that has shown me love over the last few days. Thank you to all of my friends that took the time to read what I had to write in my last journal and to ask for my friendship back. I wish there were more words to describe how all of you have made me feel these last couple of days.
THANK YOU
♥Niobe♥
If you believe in dreams, well it's more important that a dream can come true.
It took a lot for me to write what I wrote in my last journal. I really was very hesitant to write what I did. But I am so glad that I did. It meant the world to me to get all the comments that I got. It was so helpful to know that even though I felt completly alone I really wasn't. I never was, I just thought I was. I am glad that I opened myself up in a way that I never thought I would be able to.
Seeing the thread that MarginWalker2002 had started for me brought me to tears. But tears of utter happiness. Tears that I needed to feel, that I needed to get out. This might not make any sense, but I just want you all to know that I will be okay. I have so many awesome friends here and I love you all deeply and I appreciate all the nice things that you had to say to me. All the emails I recieved, all the comments here and in that thread really brightened up my heart.
Yesterday, I layed around in my PJs for pretty much the whole day. KidGumby had to work all day and I had nothing to do. It felt good to be alone and to have my own time to myself. I watched Annie, a movie I haven't seen since I was a kid and it was good. It made me feel good.
Today, I spent the afternoon with my mom. We talked about a lot of stuff and it felt really great. We washed her car and I sprayed her with the hose which in turn made her throw a pail of soapy water at me. But it was good. It was happy. We were both smiling and laughing. It was nice.
Now, I am sitting here with the gentle glow of the computer screen filling up the apartment and the slow breeze of a fan rustling papers and my shirt as I sit here and type this. I feel okay, I feel like things are going to be better. I just need to take this one step at a time.
I love you all from the depths of my heart, I really do.
Thank you to everyone that has shown me love over the last few days. Thank you to all of my friends that took the time to read what I had to write in my last journal and to ask for my friendship back. I wish there were more words to describe how all of you have made me feel these last couple of days.
THANK YOU
♥Niobe♥
If you believe in dreams, well it's more important that a dream can come true.
VIEW 25 of 132 COMMENTS
you've left me some welcomed, positive comments and i don't mind returning the favor. i sent you a friend request when you sent that first comment and i'll send another one right now.
keep yo head up and hOllaR bAck...inov8ve