Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

ninji

Member Since 2002

Followers 35 Following 41

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Thursday Apr 24, 2003

Apr 23, 2003
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Not like y'all are following along in the nooks and crannies of details, but a crush I'd mentioned a while back (using words like "am I dumb?!" and such like this), it's settling in.

Slowly evaporating. LIke a vapor trail in a clear blue sky. It happened nice and soft like I wanted it to.

Homeboy is still around and still lovely--it's just reality is setting in. His considerate and prolly unwitting compassion in this sitch has helped immensely. Nice to be allowed time to uncrush by allowing the details of reality to come to you in soft layers of light that allow you to see in the dark--foggy becoming clear, slowly, gently.

I've never softly unfurled my crush-thoughts just so. It's helpful and somehow healing...hard to explain. He's just phrasing his romantic entanglements in the right way, so that I don't feel talked down to or excluded, and so that it's an inspiration if nothing else.

Finally (finally!) rather than crushing out all the more, it's allowing me to strive and just get my own sitch happening, whatever the heck that will turn out to be.

True, it may be a challenge to be around him (if someone's yummy to you, it can set one atwitter until one becomes accustomed), but that is gonna happen to be regardless of said yummy party. Acceptance such like this is helpful and healing. And I'm all about dah-help and dah-healing these days.

(sigh of belief)
-Be.
love
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
dr_knownothing:
mmm...crushes in the spring time, what could be better?
Apr 23, 2003
leiru13:
most of the time, crushes make me happy. I get strange platonic crushes,wanting to spend alot of time talking with someone, getting to know someone, without romantic intent. I like those crushes. I can't think of many instances where I have had a romantic crush. I think, my first boyfriend, (the nyc boy) was my first real crush. That type of crush sucks hard. But that was also closer to love, being in love, which is by far the most exquisitely painful emotion.

Just click your heels together three times and repeat after me..."I am not jaded, I am not jaded, I am not jaded....

love
lexi
Apr 24, 2003

More Blogs

  • 04.04.03
    1

    Friday Apr 04, 2003

    "for i see people who will scratch and spit and kick and fight and …
  • 04.03.03
    4

    Thursday Apr 03, 2003

    all: i just completed a new sound collaboration. check it out if …
  • 04.03.03
    5

    Thursday Apr 03, 2003

    i *hate* mean people. what kind of a fucked-up oxymoron is that? a…
  • 04.02.03
    7

    Wednesday Apr 02, 2003

    pressing. forth. up. into you. and after. dreaming of a boy. who'll …
  • 04.01.03
    7

    Tuesday Apr 01, 2003

    i desire your desire want you bad and want you back here tarry …
  • 04.01.03
    0

    Tuesday Apr 01, 2003

    i am jealous of SG's blacklisted. he's had, what, 2 hot dates already…
  • 03.31.03
    4

    Monday Mar 31, 2003

    we must have met for a reason. what can i learn from our soft acquain…
  • 03.30.03
    3

    Monday Mar 31, 2003

    let my lessons in reframing situations with love come quickly and of…
  • 03.30.03
    2

    Sunday Mar 30, 2003

    i had a brief chat with my cognitive therapist yesterday, thankfully.…
  • 03.29.03
    2

    Saturday Mar 29, 2003

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

24
years
8
months
23
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,665 SuicideGirls
  • 1,113,818 followers
  • 15,102,087 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,786,541 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Complaint / Content Removal Policy | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2026

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo