ninji

ADAPTATION

"A peacock had wandered in from the marketplace which was next to the nearly empty courtyard....Halprin threw a wafer onto the flagstones. The bird picked it to bits there on the flagstones and ate the pieces without once looking up at them.

"You remind me of that peacock," he said.
- Raymond Carver, from "The Augustine Notebooks"
---------------------------
Don't fuss.
Please keep pushing forward.
I like how you look.
And I like the funny little things you say.
"You are what you love,
not what loves you.

If there's nothing to fill in the blanks, then please, my Darling--shout from the rooftops that this void, this pale dull-eyed nothing, is YOURS.

and YOURS ALONE.

I love your courage.
I love the teddy bear round softness of your orbs.

You mesh tantra and lullaby in real-life,
real time, even often in spite of your own self.
And I love you.
And I'm in love with you.

I want to remain true to you,
even if you aren't true to yourself
and no one's rushing after,
or browsing 'round the shapes, the curves of you.

I wanna be your protector,
save you from the asking,
save you from your own force-push-pulling
your way aournd this world.

I want to spoon-feed you grains, seeds, meal,
bit by bit of babystep lovethoughts
just for the love of you.
Just for the nurturance,

picking up the crumbs you leave behind you,
unwittingly,
taking the time to help you balance your checkbooks,
buy us earplugs and headphones so we can
dream and hum our way through the snoring
and the interruptions
the rude neighbors and the sexual harrassment avalanches

I want to love on you
for the loving's sake.
Because I like the feeling of loving you
'Cause I know you like the ease of my arch
in beachsand
I know you like the feel of a new, peach skirt on its first day worn out in the world, air flitting across its sweet, fine fabric

know you like
knowing
my own reflection

5 21 03
-Be