ningirl777

wow, today has been a shitty day. Its cold and gloomy outside, which sucks. I'm drinking screwdrivers, downloading shit off the net......trying to keep it together. The drama NEVER ends, and just when you think you're happy.......something has to come and fuck it all up. But I think I was tricking myself into believing all was alright. Denial is a bastard. In a nutshell, my dad is a recovering addict, as I previously mentioned. He's never been the dad I want, and I keep tricking myself into believing I'm fine with that. And it works until he calls me outta the blue and lays all this heavy shit on me. Why can't he just be my dad?? I know the answer to this and all the other questions the vodka is bringing up in my head. And its starting to affect my relationship with Jason, which is the most important one in my life(aside from the one with my mom). Its funny how one small thing will fuck it all up. So now I sit here.........crying, pissed off, drunk, and listening to some depressing ass Johhny Cash tunes. I'm sure tomorrow all will be ok, but for now, I'll just wallow in the sorrow. Love you all!!
Kisses, T