nimhly

oh the beautiful day. it was rainy all day, which is pretty and smells good. then the sun comes out right around sunset with that sort of watery color, very beautiful.

let's hear it for getting over the ex boyfriend. i admit it, i need help! here i thought i was doing good til thursday night when he gave me a ride to the after bar, and then invited me upstairs to cuddle. says he's still attracted to me. ha. that doesn't change the fact that he's moving a million miles away to denver.

drinking hasn't helped. tried that. well, works until i hit the meloncholy stage of my drunkeness, then it makes it worse.

moping and pouting work for a little while, who says a little self pity isn't good for the soul.

but other than that, seeing him at work all the time, wanting to spend time with him for the last month before he leaves, it's the definition of bittersweet.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down.

Trust me.

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start things over.

spread the angst.


but good things did come of this........i finally got out my bass again. it's odd what the ol angst'll do for you