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nimbusfool

'Scow, Idaho

Member Since 2006

Followers 0 Following 13

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Sunday Dec 30, 2007

Dec 30, 2007
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have yet to get out of bed today- one of those lazy sundays where you recover from all the beer ingested the night before. We did drink our fill. I never noticed it before but it is really funny being the only guy hanging out with a bunch of girls. My friend, she is torn over what to do about this guy she likes and I got to listen to their opinions on what to do. A glimpse into the female mind! I did have to interject a few times, drunkenly of course. "As someone with a cock" followed by why I thought their reasoning was off. It is great to have a girl in my life who I love unconditionaly. We had our romance. After a few drinks she gives me a hug and likes to say "this is my best friend AJ, he took my virginity" which I find to be hilarious based upon the way other guys react. Its nice though to be able to put my arm around a girl or lean my head on her shoulder and have it be nothing more than that. Relationships have that clawing passion and the sex but there is this bond in friendship that is much harder to sever. I mean going into a relationship one must know full well that it will probably end and you might end up losing that person forever. That special person who made poetry flow and gilded the tongue with softly spoken praise.

I haven't decided what to do for new years. I had hoped to kiss someone I love at the turn of the year. That is impotant to me for some reason- probably because I've been single at the turn of the year most times. I am thinking I will end up at my friends house but I first have to convince her to pick me up. She's in another town which means I'll be sleeping on the floor. At one time I had always hoped to sleep in her bed.. I did do that one time and for some reason I had been letting people draw on my arm that night so when I woke up in my dress shirt there was marker all over it and my face.

So I can go out and party at her house with people I don't know or tag along and take care of my buddy (can I use buddy for a chick?) and see where that night goes. Moscow people doing Moscow things- I think I'll pass on that one.

My other option is to spend the night alone- I need to go the bank if I do that and buy all the necessary items for the Grand Initiation as directed in Uncle Seknakts Essential Guide to the Left Hand Path. Should I hardline down the left hand path? I have been doing these guided meditations and I havent been this energized and happy in a very long time. It also might be the lack of stress from being single. I assume I'm single as to the fact that my partner hasn't spoken to me and has pretty much vanished from my life. No hard feelings love. Oh and you look better with long hair.

The wind is howling against the house I'm soon to leave- snow drifts across the streets and slashes through the air. I have two days left living with a bunch of people before I live alone. I find my self at a juncture in my life- I didn't expect to be alone at this point but I think that nobody ever does. My friends and family love me- I am starting to love my self. Thats what I am going to do with this new year- I've wasted enough time ghosting through my life and having relationships that mirror the past. I have the courage and the will to break out of this pattern and start creating the life I want.

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