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nimbusfool

'Scow, Idaho

Member Since 2006

Followers 0 Following 13

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Saturday Dec 29, 2007

Dec 28, 2007
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Tonight is the end of an era and if I was drinking I would toast because as sad as I could be about my close (since 1st grade) friends moving away- I can't help but remember, when one era ends another begins. So I think I will take this opportunity to reinvent my self. Who do I want to be and what do I want to acomplish? I now have a lot of time to fill, living by myself with my bar companions gone it would be easy to tumble into depressed solo binge. I have never more wanted to live and excel. My sister was right, I need to take care of myself, do whats right for me. I am planning a sleeve for my right arm and for once, I have the cash to afford something like that. Lose a bit of weight - eat - exercise - lay off the booze. I have suffered anxiety attacks all my life and have lived with that constant gut sour worry every day. I feel calm. I can have what I want and find what I need.

GPA - Physical Health - Mental Health - Spiritual Health

how good am I really and how much of my will can I impose on the universe to get what I want but not only for the sake of want but for the development of character. I have never fully put my self to the test. Interesting times indeed! I need to have sex. That was a thought that just jumped into my head, reading so much tantra and orgasm control along with solo practice and I think I can tear some ass up even more than before! Have to move in winter, its snowing like all hell out there. My roomates dad was supposed to go to the airport with him but he showed up drunk as all hell, went to see his ex and totally has not come back. Now I'm just rambling. It feels good though, stream of consciousness. Maybe I got you terribly wrong- I hope everything is ok and you aren't hurt or anything. I worry and would it have hurt you to called and given me a late merry christmas? It feels unsolveable between us - I dare not overthink it. Space. Space. I have to break out of boyfriend mode and remember I can't just text things. I want to be bitten. I'll miss your obsession with my nipples. I need to be clawed. mmm Its about time for another piece of amazing pizza.

thats the inside of my head.

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