nimbusfool

I have never met another person face to face who has an altar in their house. I feel so isolated sometimes because I am a solitary practitioner. I remember a ritual I did as part of my working in becoming an Adept in the Temple of Set. The rite of the Alone I think it was called. I wish I could find that again. The seeker for.. what am I seeking? The Great Work? Knowledge & Conversation with my Holy Guardian Angel? Power? Am I trying to forge a soul for myself? Manifest a KA so that upon my death it can be free to remainfest?

I just started a rite that will take 81 days to acomplish. Thats 81 days without drugs or alcohol. I'm on day two and I want a drink. I want to be social. I don't know if I can live with myself the same way if I quit. It is so easy to quit. I can give all sorts of excuses for quitting. I could continue and bend the rules but so far I have been strict to them. A little descrepency as to the nature of drugs but so far so good.

If I fight through and do not drink- I will miss my birthday bash, the finals week double keg, christmas, and new years. That is not counting the small social opportunities that I treasure with my friends. I have been like a hermit because when we are social we drink. I am a pretty good lush. Drunk really.

what am I looking for, besides improved health. heh. The left hand path is like tearing ones way through brambles at times. To become..

am I not ready for this grand rite?