nimbusfool

I used to wait for this day, the day that she would come back to town. The day that would once again bring us together. That day was like her, something that I both wanted and yearned for. I just watched her leave on the day I waited so long for. I thought I had healed the wounds over the last two months but I have this feeling that I find so familiar. That blood gushing, heart ache knowledge that if things had been different those things you talked about could have happened. I'd be on my way to portland right now with a girl I could marry.

I couldn't look her in the eyes. This girl who's voice I would wake to and each and every night I'd call her and tell her sweet nothings until she fell asleep. It always made me laugh to hear her snoring on the phone. I feel sick thinking about it, I honestly feel sick.

And my hangover is gone after i threw up for the first three hours of work. I wish I could just throw up all these feeling that involve her and be done with it. Obviously repressing them just stabbed me in the end.

And on this day that I so wanted to come, they day I'd get to hold her in my arms. I wish it never had.