nilloh

Those of you whom were curious about my last Journal entry or those of you whom were worried about my last one. I recommend you dont read this one. This one will entail a questioning of existence, because I have found the meaning of life. Books should be published about my Idea; I should be on Larry King Live as the man whom found the meaning of life. I should be a Saint among man. I am the evening star, the North Star the moon, and the sun.

Now by this time you might be wondering what the hell is he rambling on about. Where is this going? Im getting bored reading this. Well Im almost scared to share my discovery with people. This idea is so sick and morbid that it might make your stomachs curl. It will consist of a fear of a certain something that we all have to face. Our Existence, the meaning of life, the purpose of life is to Fear Death.

Now by this point youre probably either wondering oh how interesting. Or youre like what the fuck is this lunatic talking about? Well listen to my reasoning for the next bit.

Ive heard the argument, well were hear to further our race through mating. Really, okay well wouldnt you think that by mating your in a sense prolonging your death because your child will carry on your genes? Therefore in essence you do live forever? So in all honesty the idea of mating is there because of your subconscious fear of death.

What about the Subconscious? Okay well now we get into a tough idea to explain. I could go on for hours about the human subconscious. Im not going to though, I will break it down into the simplest terms. People find value in the most mundane idea possible. Take organized religion for instance. Most of them are about a faith in a higher power. In most Major religions there is an after life. In that after life the human spirit either lives forever in peace or in damnation. I find it funny that so many people follow religion in general or worship a two thousand year old dead guy. Well start with the religion of Judaism; a book was written which is most likely fiction mind you about a man whom happens to find the 10 commandments from god written on a single stone tablet honestly I think Moses was just a senile old man. Christianity, hmm well how to explain this one. Christianity is so flawed that is hard to stop and think of simple easy points, but here you go. First off anyone whom is reading this, has God answered your prayers? Has Jesus? Have you heard a Divine voice in your mind? I doubt it. You know the bible would be a great bed time story to tell your children, 2000 years ago. But honestly do you think for an instance would you sacrifice your life for the rest of humanity? Without question? Would you not be bitter after your tortured to death? Would you not be pissed off that your best friend betrayed you? Does anyone find this to be a classic romantic story? A person sacrifice themselves for the love of others? Im sorry but Ive never met a follower of the many different branches of Christianity whom would. Yet Jesus is the son of god, and were all made in the perfect idea of god sense god is great right?

Yet There was this little thing called the Holy Wars. Lasted a longtime as well, now I was under the impression that God wanted us to love our neighbors right? By neighbors meaning everyone in this world. Yet it is okay to go to war in the name of god right? Its okay to slay those whom believe in him just not in the same traditions right? Because your religion is right? Therefore you must smite the heretics? Seems like a lot of suffering going on in the name of god right?

Then Apparently God whom is suppose to be a perfect being, seems to be fairly stupid (wonders if he is going to get struck by lightning soon.). Honestly Hes a perfect being and I always thought perfection meant the best in everything right? Yet for some silly reason, a little lackey of his named Lucifer AKA Satan came to poor and created the exact opposite of Heaven,, which was you got it Hell. Now you would think that god would take his followers and make sure that they dont go to hell. Yet for some reason he embraces the idea and has St. Peter (or is Petersburg? Or am I getting the name wrong) Become a gate keeper and choose where people go to. Wow if I was going to worship a god I hope he had a pair of balls at least. Now you could say oh but god is just giving us humans the will to chose for ourselves, chose our destinies right? Hmm funny then how about Natural Disasters? I dont think people can really choose those. They happen all of the time without much warning, so humans are meant to suffer right?

Now most eastern religions are easy to argue, the people whom created them for the most part never wanted to be worshipped. Like Buddha.

Okay so now your probably wondering but what does this have to do with anything? It has everything to do with it. Religions were created because we fear death, we fear the idea that yes we only have one chance at life. We fear the idea that after death there is nothing so we hide behind false ideals that were dead long ago. We are meant to suffer, to fear death.

My point is though all of this is why conform to everything? If youre a true believer in your religion then great, keep it up. If it prolongs your fear of death, then its perfect. But in the mean time, live life to its fulliest dont sit around doing nothing, get out and do something with your life, if something makes you unhappy change it. The power is in your hands, not your family,friends or religion. Yours.

Okay so after that rant, please realize Im not trying to offend anyone here at all its all just my take on it all. Also I would explain myself more if I had the time to do so.