Well this was not a good week at all I can only thank of two good things that happened.
Last weekend I spent the whole weekend scanning negatives some nights until 2am that got boring I was the only one in the building. Than I tried to print some 8 by 11 in prints for some hot girls, its not working write It keeps cutting of the print at the bottom what the fuck I can make a 24in by 33in print no problem but 8in by 11in keeps fucking up.
On Tuesday during class my only sg friend who lives in Richmond gave me a sg sticker (good thing number 1) than are professor told us that the first part of are project was due on Thursday (I wish he would of told us that last week) so that mint I was going to have to put a shit lode of work on it. On Wednesday I was in the sculpture studio tell 2am didnt get in bed tell near 3am had to get up a 6 30am I was not a happy man. Before class began one of the girls in there gave me a valentine she had made (good thing number 2) I dont thank anyone has ever made me a valentine before, no one has even bought me one in years. When my professor saw my project he told me that I wouldnt wont the grade he would give me on that and told me we could fix it than he scrapped away all the clay I had been working on for the past week and a half and we began again after he finish doing to it what he wonted I put it up and left I was not in the mood to work on a project that I thought I had finish at 2am that morning.
Friday was the worst day of all in my mind it was a boring day didnt talk to any one during the day the campus was dead. At 230 pm I left for lex to go watch a photographer talk about his work it started at 4. I got lost once but I made it. there was another girl from eku there. The speaker was very good well I guess thats another good thing (good thing number 3). He went over his time to talk and I was 2 min late for work.
While I was at work I saw this girl that I have a big crush on, I like her a lot, but she was in a here so I didnt get to talk to her than I saw her again later and she told me she was going home for the weekend I told her I cant believe youre leaving me and told her to give me a hug she shad she had to go up to her room. But 10 minutes later I saw her leave out the other door she didnt even wave to say good buy that hurt my feelings that maybe stupid but I dont get to see her very often I kind of felt like she was avoiding me and that hurt a lot. I didnt let that show when I was talking to the girl who works after me but when I got in my car I just keep thinking about that and when I got home I had a major brake down I just kept thinking that I have never got together with a girl that I really liked and right now im not completely overcome the last brake down a couple weeks ago. All I could say was I wish I was never born and I know that at that moment if a magical critter was to appear and tell me that all I had to do is say it and he would make my hole life disappear I would have gladly excepted knowing that the would world be a better place without me. After the breakdown I got on sg and read some journals and made some comments I dont know what I might have down that night with out sg it keep my mind off stuff. I should have took a shower and went to bed but I needed to give my life some purpose so I went to the print room at 11pm and made some art till 2am ill post the photos of that art at a later date.
On Saturday one of my friends called me and wonted to know if I wonted to take her to her birthday lunch I told her I would, this is not a good thing or a bad thing we had a fling at the beginning of the last semester now she just uses me I think to get food some times or to tell me stuff, she only dates black guys now she is trying to be a thug but she is about 3 feet tall skin as whit as whit hair as blond as blond and a little girl voice I thank she is just confuse. The only other than I did last night was work and me and my friend went and I bought 4 used DVDs and went to wal-mart at 12am and I saw one of my hot female friends we talked for at least 1 hour maybe more she made me laugh so hard it was the most fun iv had all week how pitiful is that talking to a girl in wal-mart at 12am well shit I guess thats another good thing (good thing number 4).
Im just so tired of having to fight iv been fighting all my life to find a place to find happiness I dont fit in with any group it makes you feel so alone when you dont feel like you belong. I just wood like to lie down and give up just stop fighting.
As I sit hear I thank part of me wants to fight harder and more aggressive than I have ever fought before and the other part just wants to give up and just disappear.
The giving up is wining Wright now.
Last weekend I spent the whole weekend scanning negatives some nights until 2am that got boring I was the only one in the building. Than I tried to print some 8 by 11 in prints for some hot girls, its not working write It keeps cutting of the print at the bottom what the fuck I can make a 24in by 33in print no problem but 8in by 11in keeps fucking up.
On Tuesday during class my only sg friend who lives in Richmond gave me a sg sticker (good thing number 1) than are professor told us that the first part of are project was due on Thursday (I wish he would of told us that last week) so that mint I was going to have to put a shit lode of work on it. On Wednesday I was in the sculpture studio tell 2am didnt get in bed tell near 3am had to get up a 6 30am I was not a happy man. Before class began one of the girls in there gave me a valentine she had made (good thing number 2) I dont thank anyone has ever made me a valentine before, no one has even bought me one in years. When my professor saw my project he told me that I wouldnt wont the grade he would give me on that and told me we could fix it than he scrapped away all the clay I had been working on for the past week and a half and we began again after he finish doing to it what he wonted I put it up and left I was not in the mood to work on a project that I thought I had finish at 2am that morning.
Friday was the worst day of all in my mind it was a boring day didnt talk to any one during the day the campus was dead. At 230 pm I left for lex to go watch a photographer talk about his work it started at 4. I got lost once but I made it. there was another girl from eku there. The speaker was very good well I guess thats another good thing (good thing number 3). He went over his time to talk and I was 2 min late for work.
While I was at work I saw this girl that I have a big crush on, I like her a lot, but she was in a here so I didnt get to talk to her than I saw her again later and she told me she was going home for the weekend I told her I cant believe youre leaving me and told her to give me a hug she shad she had to go up to her room. But 10 minutes later I saw her leave out the other door she didnt even wave to say good buy that hurt my feelings that maybe stupid but I dont get to see her very often I kind of felt like she was avoiding me and that hurt a lot. I didnt let that show when I was talking to the girl who works after me but when I got in my car I just keep thinking about that and when I got home I had a major brake down I just kept thinking that I have never got together with a girl that I really liked and right now im not completely overcome the last brake down a couple weeks ago. All I could say was I wish I was never born and I know that at that moment if a magical critter was to appear and tell me that all I had to do is say it and he would make my hole life disappear I would have gladly excepted knowing that the would world be a better place without me. After the breakdown I got on sg and read some journals and made some comments I dont know what I might have down that night with out sg it keep my mind off stuff. I should have took a shower and went to bed but I needed to give my life some purpose so I went to the print room at 11pm and made some art till 2am ill post the photos of that art at a later date.
On Saturday one of my friends called me and wonted to know if I wonted to take her to her birthday lunch I told her I would, this is not a good thing or a bad thing we had a fling at the beginning of the last semester now she just uses me I think to get food some times or to tell me stuff, she only dates black guys now she is trying to be a thug but she is about 3 feet tall skin as whit as whit hair as blond as blond and a little girl voice I thank she is just confuse. The only other than I did last night was work and me and my friend went and I bought 4 used DVDs and went to wal-mart at 12am and I saw one of my hot female friends we talked for at least 1 hour maybe more she made me laugh so hard it was the most fun iv had all week how pitiful is that talking to a girl in wal-mart at 12am well shit I guess thats another good thing (good thing number 4).
Im just so tired of having to fight iv been fighting all my life to find a place to find happiness I dont fit in with any group it makes you feel so alone when you dont feel like you belong. I just wood like to lie down and give up just stop fighting.
As I sit hear I thank part of me wants to fight harder and more aggressive than I have ever fought before and the other part just wants to give up and just disappear.
The giving up is wining Wright now.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
Hmm...some of the best CD's I've bought this year....Well first off I'm way behind on music because well here in Italy all I get is Italian radio stations so I don't get to hear the new stuff in the states all that often. But the few CD's that I have bought in the last year that I absolutely love are Social CodeYou can find them on Myspace.com...I absolutely love them...they aren't quite famous yet but their first song has been released on various radio stations in the US recently... The Used--In Love and DeathThey are absolutely fantastic!! and lastly Incubus--A Crow Left of The MurderThey are my favorite band...always have been!!
They Boy has applied for a Navy Officer Program that if he makes the Navy will send him to College for 3 years and after he gets a degree he'll be an Officer and have to stay in for at least 6 more years. He already has his assosciates and is only about 16 credits or so away from a bachelors. He wants to be an anesthesology(sp??) nurse and then one day possible get his doctrine. If he does not make the Officer Program he plans to stay in the Navy until he gets his full degree and then he will get out and work at a civilian hospital.
You give some pretty interesting question....they're not boring like some questions I've gotten...like simple yes or no questions...I don't like answering simple questions. So thanks for asking meaningful questions that take thought.