Ok, so let me recount to you the most uncomfortable night i've had in a long time. There's this guy I was kinda into, his name is Tino, we had a class together last semester. He's very cute, and I invited him over the other night. Ok, here goes...
We started off with a few drinks, some Wild Turkey American Honey. Things started to heat up, he took my shirt off and i his. Soon clothes were flying and with great anticipation of the wonders i was about to experience, i reached down to remove his boxers....but to my dismay and horror, drawers finally down, it was revealed that he had the SMALLEST dick i think i've ever seen! **Baby Penis** popped into my head, and It was over. Giggles stifled, i rolled out of my bed announcing i needed water and a smoke. Pulling open my patio door, water in hand, and i tried dismantling the mood, well *His* mood anyway. I start talking about the most random, unsexy nonsense i could think of, puffing away at my nicotine savior. The randomness flowed as my cancer stick of freedom burned down.**Shit** i thought. I stretched and yawned with all my might, claiming that the whiskey was making me 'so tired!' (total lie) 'it's okay', he says and he jumps into my bed, and offered me his arm. And i thought "fuck that, this little dick needs to go!'' I managed a sleepy "I don't think that's a good idea, Tonight's not a good night" He hung his head and picked up his clothes and the last thing he said as he walked out my door was "I can't believe you're throwing me out like this" to which i said "I can't believe what a small dick you have'' and promptly shut the door.
Ya'll can call me mean, or a bitch, but i was not about to let a dude with a dick the size of my finger, stick it to me. Ugh....
We started off with a few drinks, some Wild Turkey American Honey. Things started to heat up, he took my shirt off and i his. Soon clothes were flying and with great anticipation of the wonders i was about to experience, i reached down to remove his boxers....but to my dismay and horror, drawers finally down, it was revealed that he had the SMALLEST dick i think i've ever seen! **Baby Penis** popped into my head, and It was over. Giggles stifled, i rolled out of my bed announcing i needed water and a smoke. Pulling open my patio door, water in hand, and i tried dismantling the mood, well *His* mood anyway. I start talking about the most random, unsexy nonsense i could think of, puffing away at my nicotine savior. The randomness flowed as my cancer stick of freedom burned down.**Shit** i thought. I stretched and yawned with all my might, claiming that the whiskey was making me 'so tired!' (total lie) 'it's okay', he says and he jumps into my bed, and offered me his arm. And i thought "fuck that, this little dick needs to go!'' I managed a sleepy "I don't think that's a good idea, Tonight's not a good night" He hung his head and picked up his clothes and the last thing he said as he walked out my door was "I can't believe you're throwing me out like this" to which i said "I can't believe what a small dick you have'' and promptly shut the door.
Ya'll can call me mean, or a bitch, but i was not about to let a dude with a dick the size of my finger, stick it to me. Ugh....
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
maineville:
Damn that really sucks i suppose you have to check out the equipment before using it even though you didn't use it but a scenario like that won't happen again once you know the equipment is good.
coronaex4me:
poor guy but that shit is HILARIOUS!!!!!