i just want a hug 
leaving places sucks...but leaving people sucks even more...i'm such a homebody, living in london is probably the least homesick and the most time i've spent away from home, but for some reason here things seem 10 zillion times worse...and i think it's because i miss my friends and i feel quite lonely...i'm sorry this is really emo, and i know i've only just got back and so things will always seem bleak because its just this huge period of time stretching out infront of me and actually it will go fast and i shouldnt wish my life away...but
sometimes i really just want to do exactly what i want...and i know you can't have that in life, you do the things you have to do first and then you get to the things you want to do if you have time...but i just sometimes wonder if i pick the hardest route...
before coming here i was like "yeah the best part of my course is going to be going abroad for a year, how much of a trial can it be"...well i went travelling for just over 3 1/2 months a few years ago so i knew the first month would be shit and i would feel lonely and homesick....but i didnt realise it would carry on...i don't know if i just havent really settled, or whether its because christmas has thrown me out of whack because i got to see so many people...
i just feel sort of like a failure because you're supposed to enjoy your year abroad, you're supposed to make friends and go out and party, but i'm not doing that, i have shit planned for may, and even maybe stuff in feb, then family coming in march...and hopefully april will just fly by...so really...really its just january...and honestly, sam and ellie are coming this weekend and hayley might be coming in a couple of weeks...so i shouldnt be moaning...once i have a credit card sorted and actually remember to pick up my driving licence me and the girls here can go explore some towns...so what is my problem!? i dont get my head sometimes...i just hate the way people look at me like im a leper because i say that im not enjoying it all that much here...and i know i shouldnt worry about other peoples opinions and i should just be myself...but sometimes i look at all the people around me on their erasmus years and wonder what the hell is wrong with me
mind you, it might have something to do with the fact that they dont have to take or pass exams...or do work
leaving places sucks...but leaving people sucks even more...i'm such a homebody, living in london is probably the least homesick and the most time i've spent away from home, but for some reason here things seem 10 zillion times worse...and i think it's because i miss my friends and i feel quite lonely...i'm sorry this is really emo, and i know i've only just got back and so things will always seem bleak because its just this huge period of time stretching out infront of me and actually it will go fast and i shouldnt wish my life away...but
sometimes i really just want to do exactly what i want...and i know you can't have that in life, you do the things you have to do first and then you get to the things you want to do if you have time...but i just sometimes wonder if i pick the hardest route...
before coming here i was like "yeah the best part of my course is going to be going abroad for a year, how much of a trial can it be"...well i went travelling for just over 3 1/2 months a few years ago so i knew the first month would be shit and i would feel lonely and homesick....but i didnt realise it would carry on...i don't know if i just havent really settled, or whether its because christmas has thrown me out of whack because i got to see so many people...
i just feel sort of like a failure because you're supposed to enjoy your year abroad, you're supposed to make friends and go out and party, but i'm not doing that, i have shit planned for may, and even maybe stuff in feb, then family coming in march...and hopefully april will just fly by...so really...really its just january...and honestly, sam and ellie are coming this weekend and hayley might be coming in a couple of weeks...so i shouldnt be moaning...once i have a credit card sorted and actually remember to pick up my driving licence me and the girls here can go explore some towns...so what is my problem!? i dont get my head sometimes...i just hate the way people look at me like im a leper because i say that im not enjoying it all that much here...and i know i shouldnt worry about other peoples opinions and i should just be myself...but sometimes i look at all the people around me on their erasmus years and wonder what the hell is wrong with me
mind you, it might have something to do with the fact that they dont have to take or pass exams...or do work
VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
Come back already.
You should have seen me at the AOF gig in Bristol - I was there! (Although we hadn't met then so it would have been difficult to recognise me!
I got it done at Holey Skin on Bath Road. I love the guy in there, he's so good and I can't stop looking at it, I love it so much!
Oh, and you my dear, can love me for whatever reason you wish...