Warning: contains even worse bad language than usual – I am fucking angry.
Apparently I can’t be a woman. Apparently I can’t even say I’m trans at work. Apparently men might be uncomfortable using the restroom with a fucking transbian, for fuck’s sake. How the fuck does that work? They don’t want to share a restroom with someone who is sexually attracted to women, and who looks like a man. What? What the fucking fuck?
I was originally told that at our team meeting on Tuesday (3 days from now) everyone would be told that I’m a trans woman, that my name is Lucy. Now they’re backpedalling so fucking fast the fucking chain will fucking break. The restroom problem. Under Michigan’s enlightened fucking law, it’s illegal for me to use the women’s restroom. That’s bad, I don’t like it – dressed as a woman I really don’t want to use the men’s, but if I have to, I suppose I will. But no, even dressed as a fucking man I’m not allowed to use the men’s restroom – and this is Michigan Medicine, part of the University of Michigan, for fuck’s sake.
Michigan Medicine is denying me not only the right to express my gender identity, but even to make public what my gender identity is. Fucking hell, I wish I was back in the UK at the moment. I’m not a fucking man, I don’t want to dress as a man, I’ve already got boobs and slightly feminine hips, and my feminine appearance is only going to increase. But I have to pretend to be a fucking man because Michigan Fucking Medicine can’t cope with a trans woman. With me as a trans patient they cope fine. But with me as a trans woman member of staff, they throw up their hands in fucking horror and tell me I’ve got to see it from other people’s point of view. Why? If they’re transphobic cunts that’s their fucking problem, not mine.
I am so fucking angry.
