Most women don't speak out when they're sexually harassed or even assaulted or raped. This is a documented fact, even in liberal societies where such harassment is illegal, and - in the workplace - even in companies that have good ways if dealing with it, HR departments that care, and have well-defined processes to follow. There are several reasons why women don’t speak out:
· They believe that no one will do anything. They are often right. Intolerable (to me, and many others) behavior by males is tolerated; “Boys will be boys”. “He’s only being playful”. “Well, that’s just the way he is”. Anyone remember Christine Blasey Ford?
· Women often do not want to hurt the harasser. Girls are taught to keep silent and to overlook bad behavior by boys (well, naughty behavior is the worst it’s ever categorised as, I think). Women think about the possible negative consequences to all persons involved, and the negative consequences to the harasser may be quite serious, and due to boys will be boys, the harassment is felt to be lesser. Anyone think this sounds familiar?
· They are afraid they will be blamed. Blaming the victim has long been a defence for countering rape charges, and one that works. A woman is told she asked for it (the assault/harassment) by her dress or demeanor. Because women see this happen to others, they have good reason to believe it will happen to them. Anyone remember Anita Hill?
Women are not cowards. Women who do not speak out are not enemies of feminism, or quislings. Since they fear losing their jobs – as most people do - they find it necessary to put up with a situation that they feel they cannot change. Suck it up. The #metoo movement does try to address this.
You know, this whole thing used to plague feminism. I think we’ve worked it out now. Not come up with a way to fix it, no. But we’ll keep trying.
I would like to add a very sad footnote here. Women find it easy to confide in me. It does not take so very long before a woman will tell me her very private secrets. So, here’s the sad footnote: Of all the women I’ve ever known well enough for them to confide in me, every single one has told me how they were raped or sexually abused. Every single one, without exception. Now that is sad, and one fuck of a commentary on our society.