Monday May 05, 2008

0
ohio is so depressing.

i want to get the fuck out.

i want to roadtrip this summer.
i want to get the fuck out of ohio and see what else is out there.
i want to try new shit that i can't try here.
i want to take ballet and learn aerial silks.
i want to see the desert and the pacific ocean.
i want to go to another country.
one that is still beatuful and actually has real history.

i want to smoke california weed.

i want to look for new career options.
i want to try to meet people i look up to.
i want to meet good people.

life is about creating yourself.

i just want to leave. and not look back.
but i'm too responsible and cautious.

i will probably die in ohio... having only lived in ohio.
and that depresses me.
ohio=depressing.

ex's and oh's

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

so my ex was home this week... and we still kinda share some friends. so i tried to avoid running into him... so me and my boyfriend just kinda chilled at home and did other stuff...
anyways... i hung out with my best friend today and we went for a walk and he told me that he hung out with my ex... well lets just say, he hasn't changed at all. he cheated on his long distance internet girlfriend with some ugly girl. i dunno... he had sent me an email after months of no contact "thanking me because i taught him a lot and that he is a better person now and that he was sorry for the way he was before."
but i figured it was bullshit... and i called bullshit on him.
i wish we could be friends. really. we have both been there through rough times, although most of mine were probably from him....
we share a lot of the same friends....
i just can't deal with seeing him do this shit to other girls because it makes me want to throw up because it reminds me of when i was that other girl... and i was clueless.
i know more about how much he plays other girls now than i did when he was with me.
and i hate it.
i wish he would at least not do this kind of shit in front of anyone who feels the need to tell me
i wish he wasn't such a shitty person.
like really... how can someone do this to people?
i'm no fucking saint... but its like a game to him... and its disgusting.
it seems like as long as i'm around this area and around my friends i will never get away from this... and thats what i hate.



i'm just in a weird fucking mood today.
i need to get back on birth control so i don't have these crazy mood swings.

good news!
i got my shirts in the mail today!!!!!!! pics later!!!! and maybe a work video!!!!!! (if i go to work.)
i need to do something.

i've got way too much on my mind.

carmen electra video #2 butt workout. CHYEAH. wink

i made a wishlist. that cheered me up. smile

VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
kirin_ka:
If your road trip brings you around L.A./the O.C. area let me know. We'll get lifted.
evillager:
you need chicago!!

More Blogs