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people at work and their misconceptions...

i got a not-very-nice end of the year review

not bad, just frustrating

and it got back to me that alot of the people i have been working with have been talking behind my back this whole summer... and making fun of me. for things they only have half the story of. because i have been told over and...
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meconqueso:
one of the unfortunate aspects of being out with other people, is that you are going to be judged. And just you in the personal sense, but the generic You. People judge, I don't know why. That's part of the reason I'm such a recluse, I just don't want to deal with it. People's petty thoughts and gross misinterpretations, grrrrr.

on the upside, you have a boy that is trying to help you value yourself. yay nihly! and yay Rob!
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oooh i'm bad right now.

the current Nihly is:

back to having trouble sleeping, and back to mounting levels of anxiety

a lazy friend (doesn't call enough it seems. feelin guilty)

being clingy

bored and lonely

watching too many movies and doing inside-things outside of work

pouts when she doesn't get her way

fights over stupid little things

looks like a sullen teenager when she...
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curss:
That's quite a laundry list hun...both good and bad...nice to see you're still around here sometimes...try and concentrate on your health more please...both physical and mental...you were doing really good for awhile...don't let it slip...we'll talk soon...
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ooooh no comments

guess that means no new post tongue

i'm being boring lately anyhow...

so no worries
meconqueso:
tit for tat my dear.

tongue
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This is the poem i have been trying to eek out. It took a bit, I'm not so talented at writing "happy" poems, since they mostly turn out sounding corny and dumb and I want to rip them up later. So I think this expresses it well enough, still maintaining my usualy level of um inner turmoil? whatever. Rob liked it anyways...He said it was...
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Facebook...has taken over...my life...oh dear lord save me!

everything is good just working and trying to sort out things for the fall better.

which is stressing me a bit...but only cuz it's not all done yet. waiting on phone calls.

oh my mom. she waited til i was out of the house and folded the two month's worth of clean laundry that has been sitting...
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meconqueso:
haha addicted to the Facebook! Must... log...in... Must... tag... pics...

Mom's are awesome. I need one down here.

How long is your friend going to be in? Is she staying for a while, or just for a visit?

HUGS
bridgetwnpeddler:
Facebook... like the new Friendster... errr.. Myspace... errr... ummm

Just more stuff to suck my time away. I keep a little blog over on Vox and I am happy with that. I cannot keep up with SG I definitely do not need Facebook!

It has been rainy here too. Totally makes me want to curl up in my jammies and read a good book.

Glad to hear you are still going strong with mr. rob.
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A Lesson in Incompatibility:

I placed forget-me-nots
by my bed
Thought I'd do
as thier name suggests
So long as you're so far away

Imagined converations
in my head...
You walk in unexpectedly,
but a welcome guest
I do enjoy your stays.

Though reality turned out differently
from hypothetical thoughts
I expected a call,
but that's not what I got
Unfortunately, you led atstray.

So...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
el_duderino2:
yeh common problem there. people wish to deconstruct unhappiness because they would like to rectify things. they find it hard to do the same to happiness because they are too busy being happy and such deconstruction is a path to unhappiness... or something.

anyway - hi there.
meconqueso:
when your head has had the right amount of time o process, something brilliant will come out. it's just not time yet. did you get the poem i sent yesterday?
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oh boo to boring nights at home alone...on saturdays...geeze...my fault too kinda. i guess im a bit of an unmotivated homebody at the moment. I just would like summer and the heat to be over. i love fall.

i don't feel like bitchin in detail but im tired of work. very. i may start looking for a new job now so i can just slip...
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el_duderino2:
oooh NZ?
bridgetwnpeddler:
dang... 30K in lawyers fee's. That sucks. OUCH!

He is just lucky he had it, if he had not it could have turned out much worse for him. But it still holds him back in his life that is a large load to carry.

NZ? Ooooo Fun. A friend of mine is the US Ambassador to NZ.... you can stop by and say hi. He has two daughters about your age and they are party hounds for sure!!! LOL.

Glad to hear things are still rolling along ok with Rob.

Take care,

Sean
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Rob and I are going out now and I am very happy...

Sorry for the absences lately, no patience for the Internet, no sitting still.

We went to Caribana this weekend. We were in the parade it was fuckin awesome, pics to come when i feel like posting some lol.

Other than that, just workin out in the deadly August heat and soon I will...
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meconqueso:
Happy happiness for Nihly. YAY
curss:
smile ...it's about time lady...you deserve it...
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OPRAH:

what's with women and this

he's kind, he's gracious, he's a gentleman... meh, BORING.

he's not standing me up. he's not making me wait around for calls. he's not saying he's somewhere when he's not, he's somewhere else... meh, BORING.

he's not lying to me, he's boring...

*hehehe so true, why do we do it to ourselves*

NIHLY
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frenchy:
Drop his sorry ass!
curss:
Miss you too hun...i haven't been around much either...but we'll catch up when the time is right...no worries...I'll spend some time here tonite or tomorrow...read up on whats been goin on...

xoxo biggrin
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i'm bummed about having to be back at work

a month and a half to go and the money is sorely needed

i don't know what i am doing with myself ever

i have felt slightly depressed the past week, and now, obviously, that my vacay is over

but that is probably from the bump to my head. it gives symptoms of depression...

meh. the...
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