nihly

and just who walks into my life ONCE AGAIN when everything's getting alright again? I swear, it's like ex radar. it's not like he makes things worse or harder for me, anymore anyways. it's just the annoyance of it all... popping back in just to make sure you don't forget. he's my achielies heel, i swear grrrrrr.

so i had a good st. paddy's on MONDAY with you-know-who . he got loaded and we went out places and i met his new boss who is opening a new swanky bar in my town. which i won't be able to work at because cigs will be bartending. otherwise, probably would've had a server's position in a second b/c he is a dirty old man. and because i was wearing my yellow pumps. which one of the reasons cigs was able to spot me in the first place. siddled up alongside me while i was checking out some wicked art books at the school where the vendors display.

i love you shoes, but really...he's freakin trusting, too. let me drive his beamer home. i dd-ed for him. we were conversing and then he said relationships are all give and take and i said wtf where's cigs and who is this guy? his ex was at least able to teach him something of use. I guess he's beyond his selfish ways for now. he has to ply it safe to get into a good, "clean", mad-money making job. I was pretty well behaved. pretty. he gave me the tour of his new crazy home, mansion, which is just over the top really... and tried to get stuff going but i told him to respect me so he quit it.

I still doubt rob would appreciate it but my parents won't tell. i don't know. they've got my back even though they hate the guy, probably. but they keep their opinions under wraps. and that's why i love my parents...

other than that i am ramped up. these pillz have kicked in to the restlessness side effect for sure. i talk fast, really animated at times, then kinda crash out at ten. whatever. i am at least getting to bed at a good time. but i really need to get on top of this schoolwork because they are truly cramming it in at the last minute. easter weekend we have to entertain my cousins now and i'm slightly peeved, so's my mom, cuz we had a lot to do. now we have to make a dinner and sit and talk about whatever. i like my cousins enough but it's really bad timing. so yup. get my ass in gear. channel that energy into constructive things.

i called cigs out on the stuff that was pissing me off and he admitted to them and apologized. it doesn't mean it's forgotten or forgiven. i'm proud of myself for being good and not caving in to him. especially with some beers in him. maybe because i was sober hahaha. maybe not being able to drink just saved my ass. everything happens for a reason, no? i guess i keep getting tested.

NIHLY