So I just got really freaked out this weekend. Mental illness is quite the inner battle, as some of you know. Sometimes I feel like I am losing it, sometimes I can fight it down Though I can't make any real promises, I think I'm fine now. But I did think of this, of course, on my way to ER...And had to write it out. Because I thought the things going through my head at the time were really all over the place, some quite serious, and some just very superficial. Suicide is a very selfish thing, though. Here's some long overdue NIHLY poetry:
Just Another February Statistic:
"I didn't make it to Tuesday,"
She said to herself
As a resigned sigh,
Released from deep within
Too much life left unlived
Too many people left to love
Too much potential, never reached
Every single thing left undone
Achingly apparent in a moment.
Then, vanquished, instantaneously
By the searing physical reality
Of a blade she never believed herself
Bold enough to use.
She let the pain wash over her
Overtaking every useless reflection,
Until all subsided into the quiet.
And finally numb, her last thought:
"Damn! I never got to wear those
Green shoes I just bought!"
If you have any editing suggestions, fire away. This all only a hypothetical thing though, so no worries.
But if something did happen, I don't really have a way of saying goodbye. So I just want those of you who I talk with lots to know I appreciate you and thanks.
NIHLS
Just Another February Statistic:
"I didn't make it to Tuesday,"
She said to herself
As a resigned sigh,
Released from deep within
Too much life left unlived
Too many people left to love
Too much potential, never reached
Every single thing left undone
Achingly apparent in a moment.
Then, vanquished, instantaneously
By the searing physical reality
Of a blade she never believed herself
Bold enough to use.
She let the pain wash over her
Overtaking every useless reflection,
Until all subsided into the quiet.
And finally numb, her last thought:
"Damn! I never got to wear those
Green shoes I just bought!"
If you have any editing suggestions, fire away. This all only a hypothetical thing though, so no worries.
But if something did happen, I don't really have a way of saying goodbye. So I just want those of you who I talk with lots to know I appreciate you and thanks.
NIHLS
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
Just to let you know.. haha
Yeah, I hate meds as well. It seems as if I have been taking them all of my life :[
What are your sleeping meds?
FUCK THAT. I have the WORST nightmares on that shit, I get cold sweats all night and swear that I and going to die every time I wake up because I can never breathe.
It does not mix will with all of my other medications and makes me into a freaking zombie, so I just dont take it anymore.. therefore, I never sleep.
Okayyy, I lied, I will sleep for about 2 hours a day and that is when someone has to be sitting right there watching me sleep, I cant sleep alone and most of the times, in my dreams, I just randomly stop breathing, so someone needs to be there to wake me up.
I hate doctors and hospitals, so I dont go. I know its stupid, but yeahhh I guess that is just how I am?