nihly

today i raked the leaves in the front against all odds (lol way too windy, would have been comical to watch)

i went to durham college to look into getting back to my program in the winter and good news, easier than initially thought

i went to the gym for the second time in two days and tried my first spin class in about 5 years and i feel really good.

other small victories: i took all my medications, i didn't watch copious amounts of tv, i didn't sleep in today, i put the remainder of my laundry away instead of letting it lie on the floor for four months, i had minimal anxiety, when my boyfriend didn't want to hang out and my girlfriend cancelled plans on me i didn't guilt trip or whine, i just turned to my attention to other activities, i am driving now pretty regularily and it isn't as freaky/stressful for me as it used to be (coming from not driving at all to now) when i am in my room i leave the door open instead of shutting people out and instead of needing to feel control over a small manageable space, i made important phone calls, i made rob a really sweet picture frame with pics of his dog and he loves it, plus i made his bed today as well as mine (how nice am i?), i cleaned my room. i sang and i danced. i felt/feel good. i smiled when no one was around. i smiled and said hello to strangers. i carried on an un-awkward conversation with old people i know who i ran into. i made phone calls to other friends and tried to make plans for the week. i didn't cry or feel lonely. i didn't spend the entire evening staring at the ceiling.

i didn't give up

you may not know how big they are, or maybe you do. but it's all a big deal to me. and everyone who knows me recognizes i'm doing so much better now. so i take the time to recognize and appreciate my progress myself.

love and kisses SG firends

NIHLY