nihly

i found my libido again! it just needed a lil' dirrrrty talk. i forgot my love for dirty talk, how could i do such a thing?

and like that *snap* it's back.

anticipation is half the fun, it's the turn on.

i used to play this game with an ex where he couldn't touch, he could only watch. touching got him a playful smack and i would dance away...

i'm sure rob's relieved. i tried a new thing with him, new to me, that he likes. it's not that fun for me, but i'm nice and being giving so i'll do it for him.

i joke that it better hold him over for another three months. i'm so mean, so mean... hehehehe

but for a nice guy he's seriously aggressive sometimes (in bed, not real life) and given my trauma background, i can get triggered and go back or dissociate from my body. that's half the reason why i lost poor lil' libido in the first place...

i was subconciously being reminded of things categorized as being "bad" in my head. bad things i'd done, or bad things done to me.

life, is fucked.

oh, i talked with other rob about that book and non-physical beings. it sort of matches, but they were alot less nice to him, but at the same time, not mean. it's just strange because they're totally emotionless...he's "talked" to them drug induced and not.

i encouraged him to meditate so he could talk to them better. or see if he got more out of it.

i don't know. i'm being open-minded. if you don't know what i'm referring to, travel two or three blogs back.

NIHLY