nihly

yeah i had a good halloween. it took me the better part of the day to carve my pumpkins, oh man. but they were successful enough.

i watched the craft while i was doing it. that movie plays a fucked up role in a piece of my past i'm not proud of, but it was good to watch it again 8 years later and see how lame it all was.

went to the bar and the drunkest i've been in a long time. ames left early, i don't think she was feelin it much. i sent my buddy, gurly (his last name hehe) off on a mission to find me girls but he came up with none.

i phoned my ex at the bar in a moment of weakness and his girlfriend answered. i guess she was pissed when i asked for ciggs, cuz she said no, he's busy right now. so i said to tell him i phoned, gave her my name, and that he should be here right now.

ooooh drunk dialing. i hope it causes a mess for him lol. he's been asking me all week to come over and fuck him and he keeps saying his girlfriend sucks, like its my problem. i said i didn't really care since it doesn't affect my life, but drunk dialing gets you into trouble.

really it was innocent enough. it would have been better if she came too. i don't mind meeting her, though i'm sure she minds me. it would be interesting to have a camera following ciggs around to catch him in his contradictions, of what he says to her versus what he says to everyone else. very comedic.

i think i felt bad after. about phoning. i shouldn't have. so in my drunken mind it was time to walk home. in the rain, in my skimpy costume, across two towns hahaha. but then i realized that was dumb, and i was going to get sick, and i went back to gurly's frat house where some guy sneakily managed to squirm his way into spooning with me, and when i woke up gurly was back and thought i'd hooked up with him or something.

so i got gurly to get my stuff back. the guy was giving him the evil eye in the morning, as if he got cock blocked. he wanted to know where we disappeared to. gurly is chill, he would never do anything with a girl who has a boyfriend. he's safe to hang with. and safest out of the bunch to go to sleep around. but i thought it was funny.

ps: i love rob very much. but i have lost my libido, and i really need to find it again because the poor boy is thinking he's unattractive to me. and he's not, i'm just not that interested in pouncing on a guy anymore. i was too wild before and it just feels bad. argh.

i know rob probably wouldn't like all of the happenings of last night. so i'm sorry. cuz he's by far the best. sorry rob.

NIHLY