nihly

oh boo to boring nights at home alone...on saturdays...geeze...my fault too kinda. i guess im a bit of an unmotivated homebody at the moment. I just would like summer and the heat to be over. i love fall.

i don't feel like bitchin in detail but im tired of work. very. i may start looking for a new job now so i can just slip on out and in to something new...it looks like i probably won't be going to school in the fall. i will prolly do hardcore therapy and try a parttime job.i have a good resume, so i trust i can find a half-decent fall job. i just need it for more income...not a good saver this summer.

and i feel bad going out with rob now, i dont want him paying for things. a couple years ago he was blamed in a robbery he didnt do and the lawyer's fees he owes, well they were $30 grand, he's paid back $10. pretty admirable for his age. about 80% of his pay each month goes to his sister who he loaned the money off of to clear himself of the charges...but she is buying a house and has a fiancee (wedding coming up) so, more than ever now the debt needs to be gone. and now the banks calling about his student loans

i don't want to contribute to his money spending but i'm afraid i can make it disappear quick. so i just want to make sure i have enough to get through for sure this year, and have enough for us to have fun...no loans, no people paying for me, and of course, NZ at christmas!!! which I need to start looking forward to. I need to start allowing myself to look forward to things. I need to start letting myself be happy in general. It's time.

NIHLY