nihly

single again, but it's ok.

rob sent me a message today on my phone that said i can start loving myself by starting to eat again.

that is a good place to start. he really knows me too well now. he's unconditionally accepting of me.

it feels good. even if he gets jealous, even if he wishes he were the one that were my boyfriend,

he will still settle on being my friend. and he always tells me im awesome, or the best, and don't change

and gives me big bear hugs. i got sad last nite when it was time to go home and face the dreaded bed...

(hate sleep, get sad around then)

he offered for me to sleepover. ah, sleepovers. tempting, yes, but i decided to just face being sad and alone like i am supposed to and not do the cop out...have someone snuggling beside me, it's very reassuring...

i give myself mad hugs today. mad hugs nihly.

mark and i need to take care of ourselves properly, and face being ok with being alone with ourselves, before we can properly be together. in the meantime, i have some good friends. i have the love of them, and my awesome parents.

and soon enough i'll learn to love me too. soon enough if i just tough it out. me, myself and i aren't such bad company.

NIHLY...

oh, and that means i can fuck again YAY. sex, i missed you!!! and take as many nudie shots as i feel like ...

and smoke as many of these as i want to. i do believe upon break ups prior negotiations become null and void.