nihly

why are these molehills so hard to mount?
you made them Everests with you own self doubt
and how can you trust a single thing you've felt
when you look around
but don't know where you are?

You can't love somebody if you can't love yourself
girl, you can't love somebody cuz you don't know how
to love yourself

so you're lonely, yeah so lonely
drilling holes into your skull, to get the bad thoughts out
forgetting the eating, drawing circles in the mud
til you get skinnier and sicker
but avoid those reaching out

and it doesn't seem to matter
just how long you try and soak
in that old, worn out tub
you still get out feeling dirty
you try so hard, wash so long
but you always feel dirty

don't let someone tell you that you lead them on
they knew the lines and they crossed
without a thought for your health
now you're your own trainwreck
watching youself crash, repeatedly
instead of hitting the brakes when you see the signs
how long will this skipping record last?

old memories don't wash away
and this one can't forgive the past
or take the bad times to be filed away
in some distant, locked up box
no they stay, oh yes they stay
to haunt your every thought

you can't let go, of where you led yourself
and girl you just can't know, can't teach yourself
to love somebody until you love yourself
you can't love somebody til you love yourself

you dream big dreams
which to others seem so simple
and then that old friend comes along
and you get shaken
every moment of your waking
you keep on blaming
you keep on blaming...

turn it over, to crawl back under
duck and run and hide for cover
because you've tried to live for the others
but it really doesn't seem to matter
cuz baby you can't get any better when you lie
baby you'll never get anywhere with these lies

they eat your insides, these lies
are shame

And the biggest one you've been telling yourself
all these years
is that you're ok and you don't need help
when you do, oh yes you do
because you don't know a basic skill
much needed for succeeding in this life:

you can't love somebody til you love yourself
you're worth it in every inch, every minute darling
if you only knew how to just accept
and love yourself

NIHLY