nihly

Last nite Crush came over. Things are good. I think he was happy because I was smiling alot. He was holding me in his arms, and he apologized for REAL this time, about not calling when he got home from BC.

You know, you can't get over things people have done to you until they understand how much it meant to you and just what it was they did. Apologies just to get you off their back and be less bitter, doesn't make you less bitter.

It was very sweet, that he finally got it. I don't think he'll forget again. He said "You're getting me to like you more, Ms. ****". We spent a bunch of the weekend together, but just in bits and pieces. He kept calling up or texting, saying "I just wanted to see you."

But in a nice, non-suffocating way. And then he said last night, "remember what I said friday? that I wasn't going to hurt you? Could you do the same.?"

I promise.

He did bring up a rough subject though, he wants to hang out with my friends and I just don't know what to do about that really. Because VDay, and Alex, do not want to hang out with him. And Amy is in windsor until end of August. He can come out to work parties? They're all nice?

And I started to cry a little. Because I feel like I have no friends for him to meet, though I really tried. I did. But I have lost a bunch, and I'm afraid of losing Alex. And Crush said, "It seems like you have alot of guy friends that like you. If they're your guy friends, they shouldn't like you too."

Which made it worse. But he said, "i guess you're just too pretty." And wiped away my tears.

I guess I will have to think about it. Maybe some people will just have to deal. I just won't warn them that Crush is coming along when we have plans to hang out.

He came over for the first dinner with that parents. But it was no big deal, but a big deal at the same time.

I guess I'm smiling alot because I'm happy...

NIHL