Today I went to class, and finished my painting finally. I wanted to get it done so so badly I worked so hadcore, 6 1/2 hrs straight, no breaks, no food, nothing...I needed to finish it because our program has a show next weekend and the deadline for submissions is Friday. I was exhausted after. My mom said she didn't think I could do it....oh come on like I would just leave it...
It's good, but I'm not quite "proud" of it yet, because it is a very sad subject matter for me now. More so than when I first began it, and everytime I look at it I feel like crying, I don't even think I'll be able to hang it after the Art Show... but it is still good and I'm satisfied. I will bring my camera tomorrow to take some pics, so you guys can see and for my parents, who want to see also. Then I can explain it, or perhaps it will be self explanitory.
I went home and went to sleep at about 5pm. I woke up from a phone call at 1:30 am. My parents didn't even get me up for dinner or anything, I was a little pissed, I know they were just giving me space but that really screws up my sleep pattern, hence being up now at 5:30 am now. After talking on the phone, I went to watch a movie and now I'm chatting and doing some online things....
The whole time I slept it was raining. I guess I missed a big storm, too bad, but it is comforting to hear the rain on my window and everytime it would make me fall back to sleep. I'm a little like that storm right now, a bit of a mess on the inside, facing up to things I was in denial about for a long time. Inside, I'm just a jumbled mess, stormy. But every storm has it's calm. And it doesn't mean that in all the rain, and the fury, there isn't some beauty. One day, everything will clear for me.And don't things seem to be the most beautiful after it rains? At least in the summer...when everything is green.
I'm getting better emotionally, and physically. The two are tied strongly together. And though things are hard right now, the stuff I'm doing and working at, overall, I'm better. Even the people around me notice a change. So I guess, in that sense, I'm happy. And satisfied.
Except I'm not happy that my sleep pattern is absolutely FUCKED now. So time for bed again I guess...
We shall see what tomorrow brings!
It's good, but I'm not quite "proud" of it yet, because it is a very sad subject matter for me now. More so than when I first began it, and everytime I look at it I feel like crying, I don't even think I'll be able to hang it after the Art Show... but it is still good and I'm satisfied. I will bring my camera tomorrow to take some pics, so you guys can see and for my parents, who want to see also. Then I can explain it, or perhaps it will be self explanitory.
I went home and went to sleep at about 5pm. I woke up from a phone call at 1:30 am. My parents didn't even get me up for dinner or anything, I was a little pissed, I know they were just giving me space but that really screws up my sleep pattern, hence being up now at 5:30 am now. After talking on the phone, I went to watch a movie and now I'm chatting and doing some online things....
The whole time I slept it was raining. I guess I missed a big storm, too bad, but it is comforting to hear the rain on my window and everytime it would make me fall back to sleep. I'm a little like that storm right now, a bit of a mess on the inside, facing up to things I was in denial about for a long time. Inside, I'm just a jumbled mess, stormy. But every storm has it's calm. And it doesn't mean that in all the rain, and the fury, there isn't some beauty. One day, everything will clear for me.And don't things seem to be the most beautiful after it rains? At least in the summer...when everything is green.
I'm getting better emotionally, and physically. The two are tied strongly together. And though things are hard right now, the stuff I'm doing and working at, overall, I'm better. Even the people around me notice a change. So I guess, in that sense, I'm happy. And satisfied.
Except I'm not happy that my sleep pattern is absolutely FUCKED now. So time for bed again I guess...
We shall see what tomorrow brings!
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I'm looking forward to seeing your painting.
Later babe