Hi my name is Nihl and I am an addict...
(Hi Nihl)
I'm addicted to doing what I can to avoid lonliness.
I'm addicted to a man I refer to as "Mr. Cigarrettes", even tho he is bad for me
holding me back from happiness
I cry at the thought of saying good bye.
But it has to be my decision because:
Hi my name is Mr. Cigarrettes and I am an addict...
(Hi Mr. Cigarrettes)
I'm addicted to a girl who I didn't expect to love, who I wish I never met
Because it would make everything so much easier
I can't handle her problems, and she can't handle mine (btw I HAVE NO problems..)
But I miss her all the time, and when we are together, tho we kiss like no other
I feel like I'm strangling her.
*Nihl and Cigs hold hands in the circle*
"It's ok. I'm here for you..."
"I'm here for you too..."
"I don't know how to say good bye..."
"Me either..."
"This isn't right..."
"I know..."
"I don't want to cry anymore..."
"I don't want to make you cry anymore..."
"Well since every time I see you it's like I'm saying good bye for the last time,
I guess I'll keep on until I can say it without tears in my eyes."
"Ok. I'll leave you alone if you need. I just want you to be happy. Please."
"I know, thank you."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I got you to love me. This is so hard to do."
(Hi Nihl)
I'm addicted to doing what I can to avoid lonliness.
I'm addicted to a man I refer to as "Mr. Cigarrettes", even tho he is bad for me
holding me back from happiness
I cry at the thought of saying good bye.
But it has to be my decision because:
Hi my name is Mr. Cigarrettes and I am an addict...
(Hi Mr. Cigarrettes)
I'm addicted to a girl who I didn't expect to love, who I wish I never met
Because it would make everything so much easier
I can't handle her problems, and she can't handle mine (btw I HAVE NO problems..)
But I miss her all the time, and when we are together, tho we kiss like no other
I feel like I'm strangling her.
*Nihl and Cigs hold hands in the circle*
"It's ok. I'm here for you..."
"I'm here for you too..."
"I don't know how to say good bye..."
"Me either..."
"This isn't right..."
"I know..."
"I don't want to cry anymore..."
"I don't want to make you cry anymore..."
"Well since every time I see you it's like I'm saying good bye for the last time,
I guess I'll keep on until I can say it without tears in my eyes."
"Ok. I'll leave you alone if you need. I just want you to be happy. Please."
"I know, thank you."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I got you to love me. This is so hard to do."
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
so I am starting another one. Just trying to piece it together. What I really would like is to link it to SG so that when I post there it will post in my SG account but whatever I post to SG stays private and does not link back.
We shall see.
As for your post above. Whew.... those are the tough ones. Breaking free of something like that is really really hard. Takes a lot of will power and strength to start the break. BUT.... it is enduring the lingering pains and desires that makes it so dificult. It always feels like it will never stop hurting. We all know it eventually does and we all eventually move on, but knowing it does not soothe the way you feel.
Tough one. I do not envy you this burden.