nihly

Same Night. Ready to mail the thing the next day. Heading for bed and I check my phone. Two messages from him, asking me to come stay the night.

Do I go?

Yes. I can tell him face-to-face.

But of course, that's not what happened. He doesn't see the package, although I brought it with me. I confessed I came to end it.

Instead, I spend two days at his place. Disappear from my life in our little limbo, where our relationship is touch and go depending on moods and we don't really deal with the realities of the outside world.

Eat, sleep, fuck, smoke. And when we are both on the same wave length it's like magic. I'm high. Elated. He's like a drug I just can't quit. I just keep going back and back and I just can't quit him, even when he's doing damage to my health.

I am so weak. So, so weak. Everything in my body screams "This is so wrong, this isn't what you are supposed to do" but somehow the tiniest one that says, "Do it" becomes the strongest and then it's done.

My parents were worried sick. I returned home to regular life and school like nothing ever happened. Two nights and a day.

Why he even could handle me for two days, I don't know. It could be a while before I see him again, this may be what it means. I never really know what I do or don't do wrong. But then, We both ineveitably know we will see each other again.

We'll both get our fix again.

Two weeks, three weeks, four weeks of distance and then a crazy collision of spirits for what seems a brief moment. And gone again.

Gotta stop it, obviously.