nihly

Ah my V Day was interesting.

First we went to Pet's Mart with this guy's dog, cuz you get to take them in the store. Did i mention i really want a puppy right now? haha. So i was all happy and trying sweaters on her, but she's a little too big they don't make the cute ones in her size (she's the best natured pit bull, honestly, i don't like pit bulls but she's a sweetheart).

Then we went to this local restaurant and I'm not sure he knew what he was getting himself into cuz it was very expensive. Convo was going good and just all friendly so it didn't come up for me to talk about just being friends which i should have, but I didn't want to spoil things...Yes i got the most expensive thing on the menu (i'm know i'm a biotch) Coconut shrimp, blueberry tea and beef tenderloin with cheddar mashed potatoes and asparagus.

We rented a movie and went back to his place and I feel asleep in the middle of it haha. Umm then i wanted to go home because i was TIRED and i had CLASS at 8am the next day, and he just flipped on the tv and was like "just sleep over" and basically ignored me as I was getting on my coat. I got so upset cuz he just sat there I thought I was going to have to walk home in the snow. For so long he sat there. I got so frustrated I thought I was going to cry cuz it was just so late and he was keeping me HOSTAGE in his house grrrrr.

Then he finally got his lazy ass off the couch. I haven't heard from his since. his MSN names keep saying stupid shit like "nice guys finish last", and "i tried everything, nothing worked, so now I'm walking away..." Even though i said i wouldnt go out with him. But he hasn't talked to me at all and I know eventually i'll have to but i don't want to just call him up and ask him if he's ok with the fact that this will never work for him the way he wants it to.

I am terribly lonely because I have had to cut out ppl like him from my life who just seem to want one thing, lots of guy "friends", who really aren't my real friends. But I am just sick of it. I want real people who appreciate me for me and not for what they think they can get out of me. And unfortunately, that meant a bunch of people so I am not hanging out with alot of people now. But I have to do this, cuz otherwise I am only fooling myself and putting myself in positions of risk, because he has not been the first to put me in a terribly uncomfortable position.

As for this boy who i have the stupidest teenager crush on he's a super nice guy and he's called me all week, in a cute way not a creepy way. Ya i had a good kiss but we were both a little sick and i had a stuffy nose so I couldn't breathe, I had to have a do-over and go and repeat it hehe. He called me today to wish me good luck on a little operation i was supposed to have, but that was a fiasco in itself and it didn't happen. I was really upset and i had the see something traumatizing in the hospital (i hate hospitals). They got me all worked up and anxious for nothing. So angry. I cried in the waiting room because I was so frustrated, like an idiot in front of strangers. My chest hurt from anxiety though.

But this weekend my bestest friend comes home and we are going out to have a good time. I'm going to drink and dance my ass off and i will TRY to round up people to come out with us. And this guy is going to round up his friends so she gets to meet him and i get to meet his friends. It will be good.

Have a good nite ppls