nihly

My friend Yaser and his best friends are going away to backpack across Europe for a month and I wish I could go, but other things and work keep me tied here. I miss my best friend Alex sooooo bad and it seems ever time I talk to him on the phone all I end up doing is off loading complaints and stresses on him. I don't want to talk about all the bad shit but he's the only one who knows exactly how to make things better. I don't do much between going to the gym and work. Just sleep, and now that this friend is leaving, even less socially. I'm really lonely. But Alex knows just how to cheer me up and he "assigned" me a painting theme and a due date to keep me going, to try...just try, even though he said he knows this area is void of any real stimulation or inspiration. I'm so out of practice with art. I don't want to do it if it will look shitty, but he says "it doesn't matter just do it until it's good again." Ok. Here goes...

I love him so much and everytime he says he misses me I wish he wouldn't cuz it makes me cry. But a part of me is happy...he still misses me means he still thinks about me and we're still friends....I lost so many friends this year and I'm so afraid to lose the ones that count.