I watched Donnie Darko for the first time a few minutes ago and it's giving me quite a bit of insight.
I know most of my phases where I look into things like this only last for a couple of days maximum, but I want to start looking at the beauty of things more. How intricate things are. How much time it takes to actually make all of this shit that I'm so used to seeing and using and hearing and feeling. I'm staring at this keyboard/computer and thinking of why someone thought to want this and why they would create such a thing and how they went about doing it. Who wanted to be able to hit some keys and have everything pop up in front of them instantaneously through the use of millions of little chips and memory and pixels and colors? Why is this device so important to me in my everyday life to communicate with? Why do we all need peers to be around when, in the grand scheme of life, it's all going to end up the same, in death?
I went outside to smoke a cigarette right after watching Donnie Darko and I looked up at the sky and there were no clouds and barely any artificial light to snuff out the stars. I could see a lot more than I usually can here in Roanoke. One of the weirdest things I noticed is that there was a formation of stars up there...and if the dot would've been slightly to the left, it would've been a big question mark in the sky made of burning gases millions of light years away from me. There's something really beautiful and unique about that. It's really hard to explain how that makes me feel, though. It's an overwhelming happiness and fear at the same time.
I want to learn more about everything. I want to know how things work and why I do some of the shit that I do without second-guessing things. I've become so customed to the same routine that I've lost touch with any kind of fear, morality, consciousness, being, or awareness of what I'm actually doing.
A lot is running through my head right now and it's all extremely overwhelming. I don't know what my brain thinks about things right now.
I know most of my phases where I look into things like this only last for a couple of days maximum, but I want to start looking at the beauty of things more. How intricate things are. How much time it takes to actually make all of this shit that I'm so used to seeing and using and hearing and feeling. I'm staring at this keyboard/computer and thinking of why someone thought to want this and why they would create such a thing and how they went about doing it. Who wanted to be able to hit some keys and have everything pop up in front of them instantaneously through the use of millions of little chips and memory and pixels and colors? Why is this device so important to me in my everyday life to communicate with? Why do we all need peers to be around when, in the grand scheme of life, it's all going to end up the same, in death?
I went outside to smoke a cigarette right after watching Donnie Darko and I looked up at the sky and there were no clouds and barely any artificial light to snuff out the stars. I could see a lot more than I usually can here in Roanoke. One of the weirdest things I noticed is that there was a formation of stars up there...and if the dot would've been slightly to the left, it would've been a big question mark in the sky made of burning gases millions of light years away from me. There's something really beautiful and unique about that. It's really hard to explain how that makes me feel, though. It's an overwhelming happiness and fear at the same time.
I want to learn more about everything. I want to know how things work and why I do some of the shit that I do without second-guessing things. I've become so customed to the same routine that I've lost touch with any kind of fear, morality, consciousness, being, or awareness of what I'm actually doing.
A lot is running through my head right now and it's all extremely overwhelming. I don't know what my brain thinks about things right now.
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I want to learn more about everything. I want to know how things work and why I do some of the shit that I do without second-guessing things. I've become so customed to the same routine that I've lost touch with any kind of fear, morality, consciousness, being, or awareness of what I'm actually doing
I hear that ;(
How do you feel. we haven't talked in a while. I miss you .
I watched Donnie Darko something like a year ago, don,t get me wrong, it's a good movie, but I'm not so much into it, I don't know why. Maybe I should watch it again?
xo