it is so beautiful outside tonight,i have been sitting outside for hours....thinking,not a very good thing for me to do some would say.i have found my mind wondering to some far off places...i seem to have everything in the world i could ever want as far as material things,and still i have a numb feeling as if something is missing.i think i am just lonely.all the beautiful things i know and feel and i want to express them,but they stay only inside of my head.i feel the need to bust out and do something wild.there are so many things i want to do with myself but cant seem to get the right start,what is holding me back?i feel like i have lost my freedom...i sat outside and it was like i left my body,the air and the stars so perfect then i came to realize i was only on my front porch...i am not depressed,i mean i dont feel sad but i dont guess you have to feel sad to be depressed right?i dont think i am anyway,i am just craving change.a change of something...i dont even know what,god now i am just rambling...i think i will go back outside...i might sit untill sunrise.......... 
***mandy***
***mandy***
and the feeling of something missing isn't a bad thing! use it as motivation to do more things!
and sitting on a porch on a gorgeous night is quite relaxing!