nicotine

Some fucking duck egg at work thought it hilarious to spike me drink with speed or something bent. Something I would never choose to do. But I pretty much exploded onto the glass collecting scene gibbering, un-able to stop moving, sweating, shaking, agitated, anxious, angry... stupid nonsense. I ended up walking around in circles not even collecting any emptys pushing into these men as big as a house each gradually losing more and more control, so I put my bottle basket down and ran outside for some fresh air. To be honest I don't know what happened... but I got home around 4am cried then couldn't sleep, thought I was having a heart attack... and when I finally did sleep had some fucked up nightmares about zombies, big foot, jellyfish and a big aligator in my cuboard biting my stomach, and I felt that pysical pain in my stomach, then awoke to still be feeling it. The worst thing was jellyfish though im so spooked by those things after a in-my-face encounter with one at the seaside when I was a kid... on a big inflatable tier. And then just being on holiday with my dad along the coast of wales... jellyfish as big as fucking space-shuttles. My dad would go and put his foot on these crazy dead brain-less non-lifeforms and wobble them in a kind of disrespectful way. Always made me feel uneasy.

Well this entry sure did take its own route to whatever thoughts are buzzing round my head at the moment.. when really its not even the half of it. No smilies today, wouldn't feel right.

I feel dead christmassy. Its not even halloween yet. Haha.